Small incidents, huge consequences.

It never fails to amaze me when a random event has a huge impact on my life. It can be beneficial to me or it could be soul-destroying, either way it fascinates me when it changes my opinion on something; my outlook on life or anything else.

The reason these things surprise me is because they are things that I don’t even expect to happen. I mean, a date that you plan with a gorgeous girl can have a major impact on you if it goes better or worse than you expected but that’s because something was planned. The random events that you didn’t even know could happen until they’ve already started.

I have two main examples of the vast effect these events can have on you.

Positive event:

I was sitting around in the park with my friend Jess – because we’re that cool – and just as we were getting ready to leave a dog came bounding over to us. Now, usually when a stranger’s dog comes over the owner will shout the dog back and get away as quickly as possible. This time was different. The (later discovered to be lovely) man checked with us that we were okay with dogs and came and had a chat with us while his dog investigated us new people.

This lovely (told ya) man talked to us about the fact that I don’t sound like a local, my home town, plans for after summer, his work, his family and we had a lot of banter too.

He’s a total legend.

This whole thing with him changed my outlook on people. I’ve been through things in my life which have resulted in me not liking or trusting people I meet. He has proven to me that people can be kind and charming and that not all of them are spiteful and cruel. This experience with him has completely changed me and it all happened because of chance. Jess and I just happened to still be in the park at the time he decided to walk his dog. If we had left 10 minutes earlier this whole thing never would’ve happened.

Negative event:

My sister ran away from home (again) and I went with Mum to look for her. We eventually found her – after driving round half the town – and these two boys (I know) were there with her. I got out of the car to get my sister. My foot had barely grazed the surface of the pavement when I heard it, “there’s the dyke!” My sister told them off but it didn’t stop them. So, once she was in the car and the comments were continuing I stayed back to tell them off. Mum drove away and I went over to one of the boys (let’s call him Twatface) and said, “next time you’re going to say something about me, try saying it to me not my sister.”
As soon as I’d finished saying that, Twatface’s sister appeared and asked me what was going on.

Me: “He’s been barking shit at my sister about me and I told him not to”

TF’s sister:  “There’s no reason to swear, did I swear at you? No I didn’t!
                    And that’s brother.”

Me: “Yeah, my sister’s 12 and he’s harassing her.”

TF’s sister: “he’s 13”

Me: “I know”

TF’s sister, “and I’m 21 and he’s my brother and I’m going to defend him.”

I turned back to Twatface and said, “you going to back off?” and he went “yeah.” His big sister joins in with, “he gets the message.” I said, “good” and left.

I hadn’t been aggressive towards them, I even made sure my body language was calm. Hers on the other hand couldn’t have been worse. Jolting her shoulders forward when she spoke, wide eyes when she was staring at me (and she was properly staring). Had to stop myself from telling her to calm down. Now, I wasn’t being a dick, that’s just the way I talk especially when I’m angry – she doesn’t know that, fair enough.

But this whole thing brought back memories of school when I would be made to feel like it was my own fault I was being bullied and that I’m the one who deserves to be punished. After I left there I headed to my friend’s house and the word “dyke” and other’s like it were thrown at me like confetti at a wedding. It hadn’t been this bad in weeks!

Four years worth of anger, frustration and misery hit me in about 4 seconds and I crashed. I couldn’t cope with it and I forced myself to spend time with my friend so that I didn’t throw myself onto the train tracks or jump into the middle of the road.

It probably sounds stupid that such a small thing (man in the park or TF’s sister) could cause me to react in such a huge way way and possibly sounds like I’m being a dramaqueen and making mountains out of mole hills. Trust me, I’m not. This is the point I’m trying to make, small events can have massive impacts on people. One tiny thing can bring back all sorts of memories and/or feelings and cause you to feel the way you did at those times that’s what happened with TF’s sister – she made me remember how I felt when those Teachers in school made it all seem like my fault and the people shouting at me on my way down the street just caused me to feel the extreme emotions I felt when it was happening on a daily basis.  

I bet you all have those memories – be they exceptional or demoralizing – of things that have happened which you couldn’t have planned for.  They happened purely out of chance and the random events of life. Sometimes, these memories can be the best ones you’ll ever have.

I’d just like to add, I’m not angry at TF’s sister she was only doing exactly what I was doing – defending her sibling. I’m angry at her brother, his friend and everyone who shouted things about me while I was walking down the street. But, looking back, there was definitely a reason to swear.