Take some extremely annoying people, a pinch of ignorant ideologies and a dash of offensive language. Add them all together and you have my least favourite group of people. A small group of heterosexuals that are just as – if not more – annoying than homophobic religious groups, with an IQ smaller than their shoe-size.
This group talk to you about your sexuality constantly and during this repeated conversation about how “being gay is okay” they tell you about the countless fights they have had with homophobic people that day and how they have told people off for saying things like “that’s so gay”. First of all, it is blatantly obvious that these fights haven’t taken place, because if you started yelling and throwing punches in the middle of a class, as you claim to have done, the teacher would have stopped you and you would’ve been excluded. Not to mention the fact that you could not fit 20 full on fist fights and 32 yelling matches into one school day. The second thing that tells me this hasn’t happened is that I have seen you laughing at homophobic comments that people have made at me so why would you stand up to them any other time? Do yourselves a favour and shut the fuck up!
When these lovely people talk to you about your sexuality – which, I might add, is all the fucking time – they tell you that they know what you are going through and they know exactly how you feel. No you really don’t*. Okay, you may have been bullied before but it’s not the same thing. I know it hurts when someone makes fun of you for (let’s say) being fat, I know because I have been there. But the fact is that you can change your weight, if you want to. Being discriminated against for being queer/bisexual etc. is different – you can’t change that, no matter how hard you try. So you really have no idea what it is like because when it comes to sexuality based discrimination, you are privileged. And to be honest that is the only time you are better off because when it comes to other aspects of life you are inferior on every level. And if you would like that simplified so your tiny brains can process it, I mean...you’re a dick!
It gets worse. If you are one of those people who hasn’t accepted not being straight (yet), never let these people find out! They tell you that “you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are” and that “there is nothing wrong with it”. Fuck off you complete and total ignorant twat!
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Oh my God! The phrase “I’m okay with the whole gay thing...” is one of their personal favourites. I don’t give a flying fuck whether you are “okay with it” or not, dickhead. The fact is that you are such a prick I would (honestly) rather you weren't “okay with it” because at least then we wouldn’t be having this conversation AGAIN. (I was trying to work out my own feelings towards my sexuality at the time I first had this conversation, and these people just made matters worse.)
The second-worst thing these people do is totally and utterly, breath-takingly fucked up. For some bizarre reason, something in these peoples’ heads tells them that because they know a gay person they can use words like “faggot” and make offensive jokes about gay people and get away with it. Fuck off! Just because you’re friend is queer/bisexual or your sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s friend’s mother’s old work mate’s uncle saw a gay man once twenty years ago, does not mean you are allowed to make offensive jokes or use offensive language like that.
But as far as I am concerned the worst thing these people do – by far – is claim to be genuine allies. And to all of these people, I have this to say:
1. A genuine ally will not lie about fights they have had with homophobic people and they would not laugh at any homophobic comments - because a real ally finds them just as sick and demeaning as the people they are aimed at.
2. A genuine ally will not only talk to a queer person about their sexuality – sure it may come up in conversation but the fact is they know there is more to us than being queer.
3. A genuine ally might tell you that they understand how you feel but (at least in my experience) they will never tell you that they know exactly what it is like*.
4. A genuine ally also does not need to say out loud that they are okay with people being gay/bisexual etc. because they show it. When a comment is made they will confront the person that makes it or they will comfort the person that is offended, either way they do not feel the need to say “I don’t mind if you’re gay” or any of that shit.
5. And finally a real ally will not make homophobic jokes or use words like “faggot” because they know that it is wrong and offensive no matter how many queer people they know.
Anyway, people probably will not like this and to be honest I wrote this because I was angry and I thought that there might be others out there that are angry for the same reason. Also, I thought, this might educate people to not claim to be an ally unless they actually are one.
Oh, and I know I did not mention every sexuality and there is a reason for that: I don’t know all of the names so I cannot type them all out...sorry.
* this does not apply to people who have experienced racism or sexism.
Aww good pointtt :) wy were you angry though? :( x
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