Goals and Ambitions

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I want in life; my ultimate goals both professionally and personally. And when it came down to it, I actually surprised myself with what I truly want. I might be a lesbian who is on the Trans spectrum but I’m actually quite old fashioned with some of my aspirations. I had the idea to write this post and thought I’d ask a friend of mine about her goals, in some of these areas. So, here are my goals followed by Jo-Anna's just to show the differences between two (very similar) 17 year olds.

Professional Goals:

University

Me: In a few weeks I will be starting university to do a BSc in Behavioural Sciences. Now I haven’t even started the course yet but if all goes to plan and I manage it I want to go on to do a Masters degree. The subject of my Masters will depend on how I get on with my BSc. It’ll either be something to do with Media, Crime/Law or Psychology. After that’s completed I hope to continue on to do a PhD. Obviously, I hope to develop my social skills and all the usual shit that goes along with University life but I’m mainly focusing on the educational aspect. It might not happen but it’s good to hope right? I don’t know why but I love education and working towards things so this plan makes sense just now, but things change. So nothing is concrete.

Jo-Anna: I want to go to university for however long my course lasts, which is 4 years. I'll hopefully end up with an honours degree. And the only things I want out of it are a good time and the qualifications, and then a good job.

Employment 

Me: I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was two years old. But now I’m not sure. I have many different passions and I’m not sure which one to follow. I could end up being a teacher; I could go into Psychology; some form of writing; LGBT issues; crime/law or maybe even a combination of each. I have no idea but I have time to work that out so it’s not necessary to know – exactly what I want to do – right now.

Jo-Anna: I want to be some kind of journalist. Preferably media related.

Personal Goals:

Health

Me: I’ve been dealing with many issues for a while and my main life goal is to get healthy. I hope to get over my OCD, depression and everything that comes with them and live a happier and more secure life. Kind of a boring one but I want to get there and just generally develop and more positive outlook.

Jo-Anna: I want to be healthy...

Kuk Sool Won

I’m on the right track to meeting the goals I have for Kuk Sool. I want to become a Master and open my own school (preferably in that order). I want to use my school to reach out to the LGBT community to help them defend themselves when it comes to hate crime and to build up the confidence of people who have already been attacked. I also hope to reach out to victims of domestic abuse, rape and other acts of violence in order to help them feel more confident in themselves and to help them feel safer in public. Basically, I want to use what I know and what I am good at to help people. And who knows, this might actually happen.

Love Life

This one surprised me and is where the old fashioned-ness really starts to show. I am awful when it comes to commitment. When things start to get serious I get scared and try to find a way out. The most common escape plan given to me by my darling brain is boredom. My brain makes me perceive my girlfriend as boring, so I end it and run for the hills. But when I actually stopped and thought about it I realised that, commitment is the one thing I want. You know how most people see their Grandparents showing affection to each other (whether it is holding hands, giving each other a little kiss or flirting with each other across the dinner table) disgusting and just a horrible thought to have? I don’t. It might have something to do with the fact that I’m not biologically related to my Grandpa, but when I see him and my Grandma flirting or anything like that I think it’s adorable. I look at them and I think “that is what I want. I want to be 70 years old and so happy with my wife that I don’t even notice other women.”  I want a wife, with whom I can spend the rest of my life. Funny that, I’m all for change and for diversity but I’m rather conventional.

Jo-Anna: I'd like to meet someone eventually, settle down etc. but in the meantime I’m fine with just living life until that point.

Family

This one was easy. I’m good with children and I want one. I don’t want to give birth though, I want to adopt. I mean, if the Mrs wants to physically have a child then I won’t stop her but I, personally, feel that there are so many children out there who are waiting for good homes that I would feel like a bad person if I didn’t even try to give one of them that. But the number of children I don’t really mind. I’d love to just have one boy but I wouldn’t object to more.

I don’t know if I’d be a good parent – I mean, I’m good with kids on a short term basis but who knows what they’ll be like with their own kids? I know one thing though; if/when I have a child I refuse to be one of those parents who misses half of their child’s life because of work. I don’t want to come home one day and find my child gone and a complete stranger sitting in their place. It may sound really stupid to know all of this by the age of 17 but I’ve had these feelings about having children for about 7 years and if I write all of these things down then maybe they will actually happen.

Pets? Rottweiler. People say they aren’t good with kids but that’s a load of shit! If you train a dog properly then it will be fine. Plus, I think they’re gorgeous.

Jo-Anna: As a general rule I don’t like kids but as I get older I might like the idea of having my own... but I don’t know.

Pets. I love pets. I love dogs so they're definitely on the wish list. And if I'm rich and famous I'd definitely have a horse or three.

While I was thinking about all of this, I realised something about myself. I am totally influenced by my Grandpa and all of my goals come from him. He is so proud of me for going to University because I’m the first person in my (biological) family to go and (if all works out) get a degree. He wants me to do the best I possibly can and make the most of everything which is why I want to get my PhD – just to make him proud.

Employment, health, Kuk Sool Won and love life come down to him telling me to be happy above everything else. Me wanting a child is because he wants great-grandchildren and doesn’t think he’ll be around to meet them (he’s kind of morbid sometimes). He doesn’t know I’m gay and I am more afraid to tell him than I am anyone else but even with the knowledge that he may reject me; I still want him to be proud. I want him to have Great-grandchildren before he dies (because he never fails to remind us that he won’t be around forever) because he’d be great with them! And I would love for any child I have to be able to meet him because he is an amazing man. I know it probably won’t happen, but I can dream right?