Unleash the pathetic romantic inside.

She walks into the room and once you catch sight of her you can’t look away. The sound fades into the distance as she moves. She looks in your direction and smiles and you can’t believe it. The most beautiful girl in the history of female-kind actually smiled at you. The light hits her perfectly from every angle. Her face is flawless and her body is fantastic. All you want to do is go and say “hi” but your brain has made it quite clear that she is out of your league, so it has dismissed your legs from action. No matter how much you want to go and introduce yourself, you cannot stand up. By the time your brain accepts that you’ve had enough time to think it through and prepare yourself for the oncoming rejection, it allows your legs to return to duty. You wait for her to be done talking or to be by herself and you slowly make your way over. As you approach she looks up at you, you reach where she is and you say, “hi” and the extent of your relationship is dependent on her next action, one second feels like a millennium and then she does it. The thing you’ve been waiting for. She smiles.

*

That moment, just before it happens. Two minds connect and share a common goal. Both know what the other is thinking and what they wish they weren’t. The idiotic sentences build up and there is only one thing keeping you from saying them: that smart, funny, astonishingly beautiful vision of absolute perfection. You run your hand through her hair and gently caress her face. You gaze into those beautiful eyes and suddenly there is no one else in the world – just you and her. The world is silent and you wish your brain was too. You could move in now if you wanted to and she wouldn’t mind – but you wait, let the tension build, wait for her to make a move and just before she does, you move in. It’s the dance of two lovers, no rehearsal needed because you both already know the steps. You pull back and she smiles at you before she comes back for more. Completely in sync with each other. Knowing what the other will do next and what they really want to do. But the noise of the world is lingering in the background so advancing is almost impossible.

*

The eyes meet and are soon followed by the lips, but this time it’s different. Because after a while a surge of heat fills both of your bodies and the passion increases. You slowly undo the buttons of her shirt and let it glide off of her skin. You admire the beauty that you have infront of you and try to accept the fact that she wants you too. Your lips work their way from the top of her neck down to her waist, where you unfasten her jeans to continue your journey. Her skin is soft and smooth as your lips discover her thighs. Her breathing changes as you gently introduce your teeth. She begins tearing off your clothes and you surrender to the animal you had been restraining. The feeling as your skin feels hers for the first time; your bodies intertwine and you work as one. You aim to please her and listen as her breathing becomes heavier and at the first hint of her making a sound you know you’re on the right path. And as she reaches the quivering climax, you know that in about a minute you’re about to go again.

*

The shouting. The feeling of a bomb ticking away inside you. Knowing that you’re about to explode into a fit of rage and drag up every little annoying thing about her. Totally aware that everything you say will hurt her but you say it anyway. Saying things you know you don’t mean just because it will make her feel another blade in her heart. Doing as much damage to her ego as you possibly can. Tearing her down and shredding every ounce of confidence she has, just because you can. During every moment you feel guilty, you feel dreadful and you feel like a monster but instead of stopping, you do more because she’s doing her fair share of damage too. But why are you doing this to her? Because you’re scared. You care and feel so strongly about her that is terrifies you and you want to focus on all of her bad points to stop you from doing the one thing that you’re too afraid to even think about. You shred her to pieces because maybe it will make her hate you so much that she leaves and never looks back. You do as much damage as possible because if you bring every bad moment to light then maybe she won’t seem so brilliant. The only problem is that for every pathetic, tiny, bad thing about her there are (at least) 10 amazingly brilliant things but you can’t think about them. Because you know that if you think about any of her good points then you will fall for her and the knowledge that falling in love with her is inevitable scares the shit out of you. So you just keep fighting. And you know she is the one for you because the next morning, she’s still there.

*

It’s another incredible day with the closest thing to perfection you have ever seen. She’s lying, cuddled into you, watching some random crap on the TV, that’s only on because neither of you are paying much attention to it. You talk to each other as you normally do, occasionally mentioning how shit the TV is but neither of you bother to change the channel. She says something cute and you laugh at how child-like she can seem at times. You mention her child-like qualities and she calls you a paedo, so you attack her and begin to play fight, after you’re finished you lie back down in the same position and kiss the top of her head. She rolls over to face you and makes you look at her. You’re expecting her to kiss you, and she does but what you don’t expect is the thing she does before. She opens her mouth and declares the most powerful phrase she ever could. Her voice is quiet as she says; “I love you”. Your brain goes into meltdown at the shock of what she has said and the only abilities you have left are to smile, and kiss her just before you reply with, “I love you too”.