Recipe for Ignorance Pie – it’s dry and sticks to your throat like shit on a shoe.

Take some extremely annoying people, a pinch of ignorant ideologies and a dash of offensive language. Add them all together and you have my least favourite group of people. A small group of heterosexuals that are just as – if not more – annoying than homophobic religious groups, with an IQ smaller than their shoe-size.

This group talk to you about your sexuality constantly and during this repeated conversation about how “being gay is okay” they tell you about the countless fights they have had with homophobic people that day and how they have told people off for saying things like “that’s so gay”.  First of all, it is blatantly obvious that these fights haven’t taken place, because if you started yelling and throwing punches in the middle of a class, as you claim to have done, the teacher would have stopped you and you would’ve been excluded. Not to mention the fact that you could not fit 20 full on fist fights and 32 yelling matches into one school day. The second thing that tells me this hasn’t happened is that I have seen you laughing at homophobic comments that people have made at me so why would you stand up to them any other time? Do yourselves a favour and shut the fuck up!

When these lovely people talk to you about your sexuality – which, I might add, is all the fucking time – they tell you that they know what you are going through and they know exactly how you feel. No you really don’t*. Okay, you may have been bullied before but it’s not the same thing. I know it hurts when someone makes fun of you for (let’s say) being fat, I know because I have been there. But the fact is that you can change your weight, if you want to. Being discriminated against for being queer/bisexual etc. is different – you can’t change that, no matter how hard you try. So you really have no idea what it is like because when it comes to sexuality based discrimination, you are privileged. And to be honest that is the only time you are better off because when it comes to other aspects of life you are inferior on every level. And if you would like that simplified so your tiny brains can process it, I mean...you’re a dick!

It gets worse. If you are one of those people who hasn’t accepted not being straight (yet), never let these people find out! They tell you that “you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are” and that “there is nothing wrong with it”. Fuck off you complete and total ignorant twat!

.

Oh my God!  The phrase “I’m okay with the whole gay thing...” is one of their personal favourites. I don’t give a flying fuck whether you are “okay with it” or not, dickhead. The fact is that you are such a prick I would (honestly) rather you weren't “okay with it” because at least then we wouldn’t be having this conversation AGAIN. (I was trying to work out my own feelings towards my sexuality at the time I first had this conversation, and these people just made matters worse.)

The second-worst thing these people do is totally and utterly, breath-takingly fucked up. For some bizarre reason, something in these peoples’ heads tells them that because they know a gay person they can use words like “faggot” and make offensive jokes about gay people and get away with it. Fuck off! Just because you’re friend is queer/bisexual or your sister’s boyfriend’s cousin’s friend’s mother’s old work mate’s uncle saw a gay man once twenty years ago, does not mean you are allowed to make offensive jokes or use offensive language like that.

  

But as far as I am concerned the worst thing these people do – by far – is claim to be genuine allies. And to all of these people, I have this to say:

1.       A genuine ally will not lie about fights they have had with homophobic people and they would not laugh at any homophobic comments - because a real ally finds them just as sick and demeaning as the people they are aimed at.

2.       A genuine ally will not only talk to a queer person about their sexuality – sure it may come up in conversation but the fact is they know there is more to us than being queer.

3.       A genuine ally might tell you that they understand how you feel but (at least in my experience) they will never tell you that they know exactly what it is like*.

4.       A genuine ally also does not need to say out loud that they are okay with people being gay/bisexual etc. because they show it. When a comment is made they will confront the person that makes it or they will comfort the person that is offended, either way they do not feel the need to say “I don’t mind if you’re gay” or any of that shit.

5.       And finally a real ally will not make homophobic jokes or use words like “faggot” because they know that it is wrong and offensive no matter how many queer people they know.

Anyway, people probably will not like this and to be honest I wrote this because I was angry and I thought that there might be others out there that are angry for the same reason. Also, I thought, this might educate people to not claim to be an ally unless they actually are one.

Oh, and I know I did not mention every sexuality and there is a reason for that: I don’t know all of the names so I cannot type them all out...sorry.

* this does not apply to people who have experienced racism or sexism.

I've Found the Love of My Life

I have to admit, I am one of the luckiest people on the face of the Earth. I am only seventeen years of age and already I have found my true love, my reason to get up in the morning, the focal point of my entire life and the only constant presence I will have until the day I die. And this unfathomably, complex beauty is Kuk Sool Won.

For those of you who don’t know, Kuk Sool Won is a martial arts system which brings together different aspects of the martial arts history of Korea. And it is EPIC!!!!!!!!!!

People have asked me questions like, “Why do you do Kuk Sool?”; “What makes it different from Karate and stuff?” and “Why do you like it so much?” These questions have a common answer, which is: The Pledge. Obviously, the pledge isn’t the reason I started Kuk Sool, but it is one of the main reasons I still do it and love it.

Kuk Sool Won has a pledge which every student has to make and stick to. It consists of four parts.

“1. As a member of the Kuk Sool Won, I pledge to obey the rules of

the association and to conduct myself in accordance

with the true spirit of martial arts.” 

This bit is the student promising to respect all other members of the Association and all people outside of it. In Kuk Sool Won the most important thing is etiquette. You address other members by “sir” or “ma’am” depending on their sex or if they are a black belt candidate (Dahn Boh Nim) or above you can address them with their title. The lower belts respect the higher ones and the higher ones respect the lower belts equally – in Kuk Sool Won your belt only displays your knowledge of the system and your progress through it, not the amount of respect you get. We have no hierarchy, in that way.

“2. I pledge to be loyal to my country and to promote

the  development of a better society.”

No need to explain this but just in case it’s saying – obey the law, respect your country and do everything you can to help create a more positive society.

“3. I pledge to work together with all classes of people

without regard to politics, race or religion.”

This one is my favourite. All links back to the etiquette thing but it just explains that if you are going to be a Kuk Sool Won student you must accept and respect everyone, regardless of where they are from; what they believe or who they are.

“4. I pledge to promote international goodwill and strive for

 world peace through the practice of martial arts.”

Again, basically states: be as positive and loving as you can in order to reduce conflict and make the world a happier place to be.

I think the real question is: How could I not love a system that promotes acceptance and does not allow prejudice to appear in it’s schools?

Now, another reason I love this sexy-bitch. The fact that I have met and made friends with a range of people because of Kuk Sool Won, and half of those people I would never have thought to associate with in any other circumstance. In the school I go to, there is a man from Cambridge who is/was in the Air Training Corps; there is another guy who studied Sport and Fitness Management and a girl who is currently studying Sports and Health Sciences – tell me, where would I have met and maintained a relationship with these people outside of Kuk Sool?

 Every member of Kuk Sool Won – in your school and the others – is extremely friendly. For example; in May this year I was at the Scottish Championships. I competed, got my medal and afterwards one of our judges (who’s name I cannot remember) came over to me and my friend and was chatting to us. She found out that by next year I would be in her age group and she said, “Well, we can compete together next year then”. A (lovely) woman who I had never spoken to before, turned round and said we could be techniques partners at the next Championships – that is huge (for me anyway). I’ll explain why. In a competition, when you do techniques on someone, if they fall like a sack of shit then you get marked down. Your partner has to be able to fall properly in order for it to look good and get you the best marks possible. That woman who said we could compete together has never seen me doing break falls (because I didn’t do techniques this year) yet she still said that. She may have just been being nice but that is still a massive amount of faith to have in someone. At competitions, I’ve had conversations with people – who I’d never met before – for hours. It genuinely, does not matter who you are or where you’re from. And those are people outside of my school.

Within my school there are people who I only see in class yet I trust them with my life – true I don’t trust them the same way I trust my other friends (like with problems I have etc.) but it’s a weird bond there. People I know from Kuk Sool tell me things even though they don’t know me that well; they talk to me about stuff in their lives and they only see me once or twice a week! I don’t know how that would happen in any other situation. I mean, I have regular conversations with a Mother of two children under the age of 12, and we get on really well and have a laugh – tell me how I would find myself in that situation without Kuk Sool?

At Kuk Sool, I don’t feel the pressure of hiding who I am (even though I’m doing it) because there’s always something happening and people don’t really care. It’s something I find difficult to explain. Plus, the banter between people is brilliant!

One thing that is repeated over and over and really forced through (and the phrase I hear more often than, “how are you?”) is:

“We need more practise”

This is further proof of why I absolutely adore Kuk Sool Won. There is no such thing as being perfect and no one ever expects you to be. There is always some improvement you can make, and because of this, members (should) practise everything they have been taught – even Masters practise everything from white belt level up. This phrase has become my motto for life. I absolutely love it. I’ve applied it to everything in my life. Examples? Okay.

·         A relationship is having problems – need to work at it – practise.

·         Struggling in a subject at school – need to get help – practise.

·         A joke you try out doesn’t work – need to fix it – practise.

Everything I do can be improved with practise. That’s why people often think I’m a perfectionist. The fact is I – kind of – am. I like to make everything as good as it possibly can be. My writing; my friendships; the organisation of my things and (of course) my Kuk Sool Won, along with many other things. I will admit, my OCD does have a lot to do with it but the phrase, “we need more practise” is key in me being content in my life. If I know I’m trying my hardest and working at everything to the best of my ability then I can’t be disappointed at my efforts.

At Kuk Sool Won your effort is recognised; your ability is praised and people are always willing to help you improve on anything you’re stuck with. This is really important for me as (people who know me will agree) I am naturally very self-deprecating so having people (who know what they are talking about) telling me how I’m getting on and getting this constant feedback reduces my negativity and boost my confidence and self-belief. Totally selfish reasons to love something but what ever.

So, that is basically why I am so passionate about Kuk Sool Won. I could probably say more about why it’s the most incredible thing on the planet and why I think everyone should at least give it a go. But I don’t think I could ever do it justice. I’ve got my little family in there who treat me with kindness and respect (as I do, them); I’ve gained new experiences and better social skills because of them and I’m part of this huge network of people who respect me and are as polite to me as I am to them. And to think, this is all down to one incredible man who is dedicated to promoting love and respect and making the world a better place. That just blows my mind.

I love Kuk Sool Won with all my heart and I know it will remain a part of my life until the day I die. If I wasn’t serious about that then I wouldn’t be getting the logo tattooed on me, would I?

Christianity - Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

“I'm working on a book at the moment, it's about a zombie that comes back from the dead, but the twist is, the zombie is the good guy. But apparently it's already been written...

It's called the Bible” – Jimmy Carr.

Seriously, what is the point in religion? Does it even have one? Seems to me that most religions are based on hatred and arrogance, even when they preach love.  There are so many different ways of telling the same stories. That’s all they are...stories. And they all go “we are right, they are wrong”. Well – prepare to follow some insane logic – if you say you are right and they are wrong and they say that they are right and you are wrong, and not everyone can be right then this just proves that everyone is wrong.

Christianity is the religion I know most about and I’m taking this opportunity to point out why it’s a...what’s a nice way of putting it... complete crock of shit – in my opinion of course. More specifically, this is about the Christians who use their religion to excuse their ignorance and behaviour.

God is omnibenevolent and just.

Here is one argument where Christians, pretty much, lose on every level.

So, God is great huh? He’s fair and just and always loving? So, based on this idea, if God is fantastically kind, gentle and pure, surely he would never do anything wrong, right? Okay.

And people can talk to him, right? And you say people who have experienced personal revelations cannot be proved right or wrong because it is a direct personal experience only had by that individual? Fair enough.

Now, here is why you’re wrong. I think pretty much every person (with an adequately functioning brain) would agree that Adolph Hitler was an evil little, (to quote Eddie Izzard) “genocidal fuckhead”, yes?

Well, Hitler claimed to be in contact with God and to be doing God’s work while he was following through with his campaign of hatred and killing millions of people. So, if he was telling the truth (which no one can say otherwise, as it was a direct personal experience which no one else could witness, which means no one can disprove him) then God can’t be the pure, fair and loving person you claim he is. He was in charge of the greatest act of evil in modern history; he commanded Hitler to order others to murder people. How can you say God is loving and kind if he was in charge of something so hateful?

And if you say Hitler wasn’t in communication with God then that means that not all direct personal experiences of revelation are true. If this is the case then I’d like to ask, how do you tell the real ones from the fakes? And how do you know that there are any real ones?

Either way, you are wrong about something.

Point 2 regarding God’s kind-nature. You say God is great and lovely and perfect. I disagree, assuming he is real, he is a sick fucker! He created a world where creatures can only survive by consuming other living things. Proof: Lions hunt and kill weaker animals in order to live; Giraffes eat leaves off of trees – trees are living too; Humans eat meat, fruit and vegetables which are alive until we shoot them, pick them, or pull them from the ground. Everything has to commit murder in order to live – on what level is that loving and fair? In what universe is that kind...oh wait, apparently it’s lovely in God’s universe.

  

Point 3 regarding God being utterly perfect. Someone has to be wrong here, because apparently, God is perfect (therefore he makes no mistakes) and God loves all of his creations (which is everything and everyone). Then why do certain Churches stand up and discriminate against the LGBT community and say that “God hates fags” and that gays are sick, unnatural, perverted and “against, God’s will”? Because, if he is real then he created us and if he is perfect (as you so claim) then he did it on purpose.

So we have a few options here:

1) He’s real and not perfect.

2) He’s real and doesn’t love all of his creations (in which case, why create us?)

3) He’s not real and we’re here due to some difference in our biochemistry or our

     social surroundings.

 Either way – you’re wrong about something.

Is more proof needed in the case of “God is not the righteous, fair, kind and loving figure you assume he is but he is, in fact, a lying, evil, twisted, sick, little creep who needs serious mental health treatment”? Okay then, here’s some more.

Deuteronomy 22: 28-29 - “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father.  Then he must marry

the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be

allowed to divorce her.”

OH, HOLY FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, someone, explain to me what kind of loving, caring person would force a victim of rape to marry her attacker and remain with him forever? How is that kind on any level? That is sick and cruel. You bring me one woman who has been raped and her attacker and – if she can handle being in the same building as him without having a nervous breakdown due to the trauma – I will ask her if she would marry this man (if he pays her Father, of course). Bet you anything she would call you every name under the sun and a couple of hours later a very strong person would be at your door beating the shit out of you (regardless of whether she’d already done it herself. And if that wasn’t bad enough, seems like Mr. God-man up there thinks that you can get away with anything if you fork over enough cash for it – look at that, the law is wrong, bribery should not be illegal because God says it’s okay.

And the sickness doesn’t stop there. Oh no! Not only does God not care about rape victims he also loves a good killing doesn’t he? Even, killing children:

Hosea 9:11-16 – The glory of Israel will fly away like a bird, for your children will die at birth or perish in the womb or never even be conceived.  Even if your children do survive to grow up, I will take them from you.  It will be a terrible day when I turn away and leave you alone.  I have watched Israel become as beautiful and pleasant as Tyre.  But now Israel will bring out her children to be slaughtered."  O LORD, what should I request for your people?  I will ask for wombs that don't give birth and breasts that give no milk.  The LORD says, "All their wickedness began at Gilgal; there I began to hate them.  I will drive them from my land because of their evil actions.  I will love them no more because all their leaders are rebels.  The people of Israel are stricken.  Their roots are dried up; they will bear no more fruit.  And if they give birth, I will slaughter their beloved children." 

Ensuring that women can’t conceive; making it so women can’t feed their children (if they are lucky enough to have any); making sure no one can eat; slaughtering children? And this is your “good guy” – fucking hell! I’d hate to see what you believe the Devil is capable of; I mean God has murder and rape covered. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously? This is what you put your faith and trust into? I would’ve thought anything would be preferable to this...

“How the world was made.”

Okay let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point. In Christianity, the opinion of how the planet was created is called the “Story of Creation” and this is the part where Biblical Literalists really show themselves up as the ignorant, simpletons who are so blinded by their faith that they cannot see how wrong they are.

Biblical Literalists believe that the world is 6,000 years old, and when faced with a fossil that is (known to be) at least 70 million years old, they stick to “no, that fossil is 6000 years old”. Some of them have even gone to the extent of saying that dinosaurs lived in the Garden of Eden with Adam & Eve, 6000 years ago. I’m sorry – well, actually, I’m not but anyway – the idea that dinosaurs were around and living with Adam & Eve (humans) is ridiculous! If Adam & Eve did live with the dinosaurs then they sure as hell wouldn’t have lived to be more than 900 years old.

AND humans wouldn’t be around now because we would’ve died out with them (you know, if they didn’t eat us first) – DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one was around when the world was started so no one is 100% sure about how it happened so what makes you think that many people writing out a story over 1000s of  years got it right? Even scientists call the Big Bang Theory a theory because they could be proved wrong at any point – and that is based on evidence not just a story. Also, the amount of changes made to the Bible by vicious wannabe-dictators (a.k.a. Popes) means that anything in it could be twisted and altered – I don’t understand how you can set your mind to believing that story and teach your children to do so too.

Humans are the best:

Really? Because Darwin didn’t seem to think so.

Good old Charles Darwin, gave up on Christianity when his research revealed it was bullshit.

And the Creationists really – and I mean REALLY – don’t like him or anyone who agrees with him and his research (you know what research is, it’s when you look for evidence to back up your ideas – it’s kind of like what early Christians did with the Bible only...not).

Mr Darwin removed the idea of there being a designer of the world. He showed that every species evolved from something else, there was no fixity of species (there is no unique species that has never been something else). This pissed the Literalists right off because they believed that God was the designer and they argued and stated “God designed the world” and Darwin’s theory of Evolution just showed that there is no designer and that means no God.

But, what really pissed them off was him stating in his book – and according to wise Mr Izzard, “That book was called ‘monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, you’” – that (as the title suggests) humans were descendent from monkeys. OUCH! That had to hurt. The bible states that humans were the superior creation and they were brilliant and created in God’s image. Old Charlie-boy pretty much shattered Genesis 1 – 3.

He also revealed (among many other things) that humans are just animals and are not superior to all other animals on the planet – fact. Christians didn’t like that idea very much because according to Genesis 1, humans have dominion over all other animals and can do as they wish with those animals, and if Genesis says it then it must be so. I mean if Genesis can be proven wrong in one area then it can easily be proven wrong in general.

Darwin’s theory of Evolution by Natural Selection just turns the idea of an omnibenevolent and perfect God to shit. This theory states that nature is a case of “survival of the fittest”; the strongest of each species continues on while the weak ones are killed and die out which helps each species go from strength to strength. On what level is that kind – creating something just so it can die? And how is it perfect – surely, if God was designing creatures he wouldn’t make the weak ones he’d go straight from the best version of each animal, wouldn’t he?

“You shall not steal”

Good start Bible writers – begin with complete and total hypocrisy. They preach that people should not steal from others, funny, they obviously forgot that rule when they were stealing bits and pieces of other creatively, mind-numbingly, boring systems (religions) and creating their own sordid, little, system of rejection and prejudice (religion). In the words of Eddie Izzard there were, “all these Pagan religions, and Christians went *boom, splat* that seems to fit.” They took the bits they liked and no one else could have them for example (more Izzardian wisdom); “Christmas is when we remember Chris – and how he so brilliantly landed on that pagan ritual of being born on the 25^th of December.” It is amazing how the figure head of Christianity managed to be born on the date of a Pagan festival, isn’t it? An amazing and (ironically) magical coincidence, don’t you think?

Catholics and their precious Pope:

Saved the best until last.

Everyone knows about the scandal surrounding the Catholic Church so I won’t bore you with details. Now, rape is disgusting. Raping young children is appalling (to say the least) and I am horrified by the entire thing. But what really gets me is the Pope. This man is supposed to be the closest thing to God that we can get on Earth. He knows what God wants and what God thinks. Pope Benedict XVI (a.k.a. vicious, vile, evil prick or Benny) is guilty of defending (supposed) paedophiles. He allowed them to keep their jobs and remain spending time with children. You cannot claim that this man is god-like without being accepting of paedophilia.

How on Earth can you still see him as a sacred figure? He is a fucking evil bastard that should be locked up for life. Ignore the whole question of God for this bit I’m more focused on the Prick. He defended, protected and supported those priests even though he knew they had been sexually abusing children. He did not allow them to be punished – yet you still worship him, look up to and admire him and see him as a moral and righteous figure, WHAT THE FUCK?!

A man goes into a village shop and brutally murders the person behind the till. Another man, standing outside sees everything that happens yet when the police arrive he doesn’t tell them who the man was or even what he looked like or which direction he ran off in. I think we can all agree that man is as bad as the murderer, yes?

Based on this, that fucking precious Pope of yours is just as evil as the rapists he protected.

ANYONE in ANY JOB who covers up for ONE paedophile is an evil twat. But one man who covers for MANY paedophiles and puts HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of children in danger is a complete and total CUNT!!!!!!!!!! Are you seriously going to tell me that this man is the closest thing to the perfect God that you preach about? The amazing and loving God you say I should worship? Rape is your definition of perfect and loving?

It makes sense, I mean, if we look back at the bible passages I’ve put in here we’ve got one about how God is in favour of rape and how he loves killing children, so it makes total sense that raping children would be in the G-man’s top 5 favourite activities.

Want to know the ironic thing. The popular line these bastards use to condemn homosexuals is this: “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” This line was originally written in Hebrew (like the rest of the Bible). Now, in it’s original form the word used for “man” meant a man of any age. However, the word used for “male” referred to a male child. So the line actually says, “If an adult man lies with a male child as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” So priests have kept their jobs, been defended by the Pope even though they disobeyed the words in the Bible. Hypocrisy much?

Tim Minchin perfectly (and I’m using that word correctly) sums up my feelings about the Pope and the paedophile ring he protects:

“Fuck the motherfucker and fuck you motherfucker
If you're still a motherfucking papist 
If he covered for a single motherfucker who's a kiddie fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker he's as evil as the rapist.”

By the way, I would like to add (including this one) there are 6 passages in the Bible which condemn homosexuality, there are 362 which condemn heterosexuality – so, can’t go bitching at us because “God” hates you more. 

Anyway, there will be more reasons regarding why I think religion is a crock of old shit but these are the ones I can think of just now. I could probably write 20 pages on why Christianity is a sordid, scheme of manipulation and brain washing but this will do for now. I would like to state that people say that Science and Religion can work together and they probably can but that cannot be confused with Science and Faith because (here’s more Timboian wisdom): “Science adjusts it’s views based on what’s observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved.”

Just in case – for some reason – a Catholic person has stumbled upon this and been offended, feel free to leave a comment and tell me that. But before you do, I’d like you to read a bit more of my favourite Tim Minchin song, because I cannot, possibly, even attempt to say it as eloquently as he has:

“If it made you feel angry go ahead and write a letter
But if you find me more offensive then the fucking possibility
Of the pope protecting priests when they where getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker, this here is a fact
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking
Power hungry, self-aggrandised, bigot in the stupid fucking hat.”

References:

Jimmy Carr - Twitter: @jimmycarr - website: jimmycarr.com 

Eddie Izzard- Twitter: @eddieizzard- website: eddieizzard.com

Tim Minchin- Twitter: @timminchin - website: timminchin.com

Dedicated to Jo-anna because she's just properly come out and I'm so proud of her :D
Rainbowfied it just for you :)

More pricks on the pin-cushion of ignorance

I have something to write about - I'm happy. Unfortunately that’s the best attempt I can make at finding a “silver lining” on this grey-fucking-cloud.

These stupid, uneducated, ignorant, narrow-minded people should not be allowed to comment on how “common” LGBT people are.

Jean Alexander, the actress who played Hilda Ogden until 1987, said in a recent interview: “Every community has people who are gay and they are very nice people. I’m not running the Street down – and let’s not forget its creator Tony Warren is gay – but three couples seems excessive.”

Now Jean, I would like to congratulate you on your startling ability to point out the obvious – there are gay people in every community, well done! I’d also like to correct you on a few things:

1)      Not every gay person is nice. You can’t make a general statement about an entire group of people, because each person is different and being gay has nothing to do with whether you are nice or not.

2)      What has the sexuality of the creator of Corrie got to do with anything?

3)      There are not (now pay attention) NOT three gay couples on Coronation Street. There are two. The other couple you are probably referring to are Roy & Haley who, by the way, are not gay. Haley is a transgender woman and they are both heterosexual. So go educate yourself before you make ignorant comments that just make you look stupid.

Nick Cochrane, who played Andy McDonald, said: “How many streets in Britain would have schoolgirl lesbians, gay married couples, a transsexual and children to gay couples? It is a little bit far-fetched.”

Nick, really?! You obviously have no concept of the amount of LGBT people there are in the world. As a matter of fact, in my small, rural, conservative town with five churches, on my street there’s:

·         Me

·         One older gay couple (who’ve been together a while)

·         One single gay man

·         A lesbian couple (with a baby)

So, no it’s not really that far-fetched to have a few LGBT people on one street near Manchester when it can happen here. Is it? Tit.

Andrew Lancel, who plays Frank Foster, was reportedly by the Daily Star as saying: “I believe there are too many gay people on Coronation Street.

Well Andy, I don’t know quite how to say this because everyone is entitled to their beliefs but: you’re wrong. And to quote Billy Connolly, “fuck off!”.

I swear, these people need taken into a room and taught a few things. Just because they don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. There are a lot of LGBT people out there and sometimes we end up living in the same street as each other – I know, how rude of us, the decent thing to do is spread out a bit. Oh well.

Seriously though, 7 LGBT characters on one programme is not excessive. It’s representative and should be celebrated not condemned. One show will never be able to represent everyone but surely Coronation Street and it’s cast should be praised for trying.


See Pinknews story here.

Pick a number and I'll tell you why you're in my heart

Pick a number and I’ll tell you why you’re in my heart.

I have a handful of people who have impacted my life substantially. And although each impact has been in a different way they have all been beneficial. There’s a thing called “overcompensation” that everyone knows about – it’s the guy who buys a flashy car in order to make up for his lack of inches; it’s the extremely closeted lesbian who overly flirts with guys to stop people from working out that she’s gay. My method of overcompensation is my sense-of-humour, my sensitivity (which isn’t my strongest point) and my attempt at giving advice and helping my friends with things. I try to do these things with all of my friends but with the people this is about, I try to do it extremely well because I feel I’m getting a better deal than they are. And these are the reasons that these people deserve this special treatment...

Number 3: For some reason we just clicked a couple of months ago and we’ve been pretty close since then. You’re a total bitch (so proud) who never misses an opportunity to rip the shit out of me for certain things (you know who and what I mean) but you only do it for a laugh. We have our own “little” jokes and we’ve shared a few bitching sessions. You’re a fast learner when it comes to “ding” and I love the banter that comes with it. I know people who can make me laugh but I don’t know anyone who can make me smile like you do – you have this natural charm that just makes people happy, but you do make me laugh as well. One person has described us as being “joined at the hip” which I’m not going to complain about. You’re a strong, intelligent, kind, funny, gorgeous guy who needs to give himself more credit. I envy you for quite a few things, one being that you get all the girls – grrr – but mostly I envy your strength, although I also admire you for it. Your lack of knowledge about just how great you are is one of your most endearing qualities. It’s not been long since our friendship began but it’s progressed rapidly, you are the “Jack” to my “Karen” and I love you to bits. I honestly can’t imagine my life without you now.

Number 4: This time last year we were just beginning our regular banter. Who’d have thought that we’d be here now? You are the funniest guy I know and you have (unknowingly) helped me through really hard times just by using your sense of humour. You’ve brought me into a group of the kindest, most accepting people I’ve ever met and introduced me to another amazing friend – who, without you, I never would’ve met. We’ve had one bust up in the time we’ve been properly friends – which is good going by my standards – but even that couldn’t keep me away from you for long.  You’re a total legend and an absolute babe and the best boss any King/Chief could ask for. You are my gay husband and an absolute star and if we were both men I’d marry you :P

Number 7: You’ve been there for me through the extreme lows and never lost patience with me during the stubborn (and extremely miserable) conversations. You’ve backed me up when I’ve come into conflict with certain “sensitive” people and you’ve always been there when I need to rant and rave about them. We have regular bitches about common annoyances and we collectively investigated a certain person looking for evidence to back up our “theory” about him and his Transformers. You can be quite slow (which I often point out – in a funny, non-offensive kind of way) but you can come out with lines that I would be proud of. We worked together on a project that meant the world to me and we took on the work of the whole group in order to get it done properly and on time. You also tolerated my bitchy, dictatorship in that project and reminded me to have fun with it as well. You’re a hard worker, a good friend and someone who appreciates my worship of Tony. You’re also my workout buddy – occasionally and (even though we regularly discuss your lack of brain cells) we both know you’ve got a fully functioning and intelligent head on those shoulders (above your neck obviously – that phrase pisses me off).

Number 9: I can honestly say you are my most trusted friend. I’ve told you things I have never trusted anyone else enough to tell them and I haven’t got a single ounce of regret about telling you – which is something new. You have – without knowing it – vastly reduced my self-loathing and the shame I had about my sexuality, and you have given me an extreme boost of pride. Our (minor) telepathic connection makes conversations with you practically unnecessary and if it wasn’t for the vast amounts of entertainment I get from having them then we wouldn’t need to bother because we could both (accurately)predict the other’s remarks. You seem to trust me with things and you tolerate my worst habits without becoming too aggravated. You have quick wit (sometimes), you’re insanely gorgeous and you have a dazzling smile – you’re also going to hate me for saying this, but fuck it. My life has improved greatly since you’ve become a major part of it and I hope you continue to be in my life for as long as you can tolerate me and all my insecurities, paranoia, excessive rambling and inappropriate humour when I become nervous – which I know can be annoying.

Number 11: Wow! We just seemed to get each other on a humour basis. The banter could go on for a long time because we both knew the other was kidding and we both knew where the line was. And your great qualities didn’t stop there. As I got to know you a little more I began to see the more sensitive side to you: the loyal friend and pushy match-maker. The praise you get from a certain mutual friend of ours (you know who I’m talking about) made me want to know you more and the support you’ve shown her and the kindness you’ve shown me has significantly improved my opinions of the straight community. Your extreme intelligence makes me jealous (which I’m not ashamed to admit) and I hope the banter keeps on rolling. I should also add, you are rather hot – waste of a girl (JOKES, you are hot but you know...awkward...).

Number 24: Well, what can I say that you don’t already know? We have quite a bit of history – mostly good. We’ve shared moments of humour, moments with a more serious tone and some I will never forget. We’ve annoyed the shit out of each other at times and disagreed on things but our friendship has remained intact through all of that. You’ve been an important part of my life and I’ll treasure (most of) my memories of you forever.

Ignorance Benefits None

Brian, Brian, Brian – how I pity you.

A recent story on Pinknews (which you can read here) has caused mixed feelings in me. At first I was purely angry at Brian Sewell – the art critic mentioned in the story – but gradually I also began to pity him. This poor, poor man has such a twisted, self-hatred that seeing happy LGBT... people on television has caused him to feel so much shame that he feels the need to take it out on the writers of British Soaps.

But I am still angry. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to educate any people who share this – apparently bisexual – man’s views.

According to Pinknews, Sewell wrote (in the Daily Mail – big surprise), that the wide range of LGBT characters in soaps make “sane” viewers feel their noses are being “rubbed in it”. I’m sorry, are you saying that those people who have no problem with LGBT... characters are insane? Because that itself, is insane. The people you are describing as sane are those who have a form of prejudice towards people. If prejudice is sane then I think I’m happy to take the label of insanity.

Also, the “wide range of LGBT characters” are representing the public. You don’t hear people complaining about the large amount of hetero-normative characters do you? No and that’s because they are typical of everyday life, as are LGBT people.

Just to clarify, people are not having their noses “rubbed” in anything, they are being shown storylines that are realistic and relevant to the 21^st Century – that’s where we are now, in case you missed it.

The 79 year old also wrote; “There’s too much, not only of Gay men – who are estimated to make up just six per cent of the population, but who dominate the storylines in the soap – but also of lesbians, bisexuals, the trans-gender community, cross-dressers and everyone else with some sexual quirk or fetish.” Okay, let’s start with a summary of this. Basically he has just said “minorities don’t deserve their own storylines” and, “not being hetero-normative means you have a fetish”.

Now, something to educate people, the stories and characters are kept representative. In EastEnders there is one Gay couple; in Emmerdale there is one main Gay character (now), and Coronation Street is the most inclusive as they have, one Transgender character, one Gay-male couple and one teenage Lesbian couple – not exactly an unfamiliar sight in Manchester. Yes, these characters are given big storylines and this is because – now hold on to your hat – LGBT people have lives too and events that happen in an LGBT person’s life are just as valid for storylines as those that take place in a heterosexual/hetero-normative person’s life.

Sewell wrote about Coronation Street, “Is it true that the lives of heterosexual Mancunians are haplessly intertwined with transvestites, transsexuals, teenage lesbians and a horde of homosexuals across the age range? Is Manchester now the Sodom of the North?”

As I previously stated, there is one Transgender person, one same-sex male couple and one Lesbian couple on Coronation Street. Manchester is a diverse city with a variety of people and has a very varied population. It is not uncommon to see two same-sex couples and a transgender individual in one town in a city that has held World Pride. I mean come on! I live in a rural town with about 5 churches in it and even here we have two same-sex male couples and a few lesbians – so if our conservative little shit-hole can do it then a town in Manchester surely can.

Sewell continued his flowing stream of nonsensical bullshit by stating that the BBC spreads “sexual propaganda” to “pre-pubescent children” by showing these couples. He then asked whether Gay relationships were suitable for pre-watershed television, “The dear old egalitarian BBC protested that its policy is to portray Gay and hetero- sexual relationships in exactly the same way, both equally suitable for pre-watershed viewing. But are they equally suitable?”

I expect this from extremely-religious and/or very conservative straight people but from a bisexual art critic?! Same-sex relationships are no more or less suitable for pre-watershed TV than heterosexual relationships are. At the end of the day saying that same-sex couples (male or female) are inappropriate is just promoting the idea that we are bad, shameful and society’s dirty little secret. Letting people believe that we are different and therefore we’re bad. ENOUGH!!!!! I don’t accept this view from the conservative bashers of various holy scriptures – why would I accept it from a bisexual person involved in the liberal arts? Seriously, this view is about as old as the Popes who push/have pushed it (combined).

 I doubt you’ll ever see this Brian, but just in case – grow up already! You’ve labelled yourself bisexual now you need to accept it and allow yourself to get with that man that you’ve had your eye on for ages but haven’t had the guts to make a move on because of the crippling hatred you’ve had towards yourself. It’s not enough to place the label on yourself, you have to accept the fact that it is you; you don’t go around saying that your attraction to men is a “disability” and an “affliction”.

I can’t get over the fact that this argument came from a self-proclaimed bisexual. A person who is attracted to members of the same sex, saying that same-sex relationships are inappropriate for TV and that LGBT people shouldn’t have storylines in Soaps, just doesn’t fit in my head. As far as I’m concerned it is an unfathomable concept. I know there are homophobic homosexuals out there, even I went through a stage of that but I never said that other people shouldn’t show their love and they shouldn’t be represented on TV. I don’t have the right to say that and neither does anyone else.

The fact of the matter is, as long as people exist they will be represented on TV. Whether they are disabled, Gay, teachers, immigrants, paedophiles, murderers, what ever – as long as they are around you’ll see them. And keeping children “innocent” about the existence of LGBT people is pointless because they know about straight people from day one – with fairytales promoting the hetero-normative lifestyle and saying that the main aim of any female is to get kissed by a hot guy. Any kids going around thinking “I’m not like that” is not benefiting from being kept ignorant of LGBT people are they?

Even straight kids who are kept oblivious are not better off – they’re going to find out about LGBT people eventually and if they know about it from early on then the presence of LGBT people will not be such a big deal later on. Also, if they know about LGBT people then they are less likely to bully kids who come out later on – which makes life easier for everyone.

And to quote the great Paul O’Grady, “Get over yourselves papers! There are gay people in the world! There are gay people on telly! In fact if you got rid of all the gay people there'd be no TV!”