Christianity - Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

“I'm working on a book at the moment, it's about a zombie that comes back from the dead, but the twist is, the zombie is the good guy. But apparently it's already been written...

It's called the Bible” – Jimmy Carr.

Seriously, what is the point in religion? Does it even have one? Seems to me that most religions are based on hatred and arrogance, even when they preach love.  There are so many different ways of telling the same stories. That’s all they are...stories. And they all go “we are right, they are wrong”. Well – prepare to follow some insane logic – if you say you are right and they are wrong and they say that they are right and you are wrong, and not everyone can be right then this just proves that everyone is wrong.

Christianity is the religion I know most about and I’m taking this opportunity to point out why it’s a...what’s a nice way of putting it... complete crock of shit – in my opinion of course. More specifically, this is about the Christians who use their religion to excuse their ignorance and behaviour.

God is omnibenevolent and just.

Here is one argument where Christians, pretty much, lose on every level.

So, God is great huh? He’s fair and just and always loving? So, based on this idea, if God is fantastically kind, gentle and pure, surely he would never do anything wrong, right? Okay.

And people can talk to him, right? And you say people who have experienced personal revelations cannot be proved right or wrong because it is a direct personal experience only had by that individual? Fair enough.

Now, here is why you’re wrong. I think pretty much every person (with an adequately functioning brain) would agree that Adolph Hitler was an evil little, (to quote Eddie Izzard) “genocidal fuckhead”, yes?

Well, Hitler claimed to be in contact with God and to be doing God’s work while he was following through with his campaign of hatred and killing millions of people. So, if he was telling the truth (which no one can say otherwise, as it was a direct personal experience which no one else could witness, which means no one can disprove him) then God can’t be the pure, fair and loving person you claim he is. He was in charge of the greatest act of evil in modern history; he commanded Hitler to order others to murder people. How can you say God is loving and kind if he was in charge of something so hateful?

And if you say Hitler wasn’t in communication with God then that means that not all direct personal experiences of revelation are true. If this is the case then I’d like to ask, how do you tell the real ones from the fakes? And how do you know that there are any real ones?

Either way, you are wrong about something.

Point 2 regarding God’s kind-nature. You say God is great and lovely and perfect. I disagree, assuming he is real, he is a sick fucker! He created a world where creatures can only survive by consuming other living things. Proof: Lions hunt and kill weaker animals in order to live; Giraffes eat leaves off of trees – trees are living too; Humans eat meat, fruit and vegetables which are alive until we shoot them, pick them, or pull them from the ground. Everything has to commit murder in order to live – on what level is that loving and fair? In what universe is that kind...oh wait, apparently it’s lovely in God’s universe.

  

Point 3 regarding God being utterly perfect. Someone has to be wrong here, because apparently, God is perfect (therefore he makes no mistakes) and God loves all of his creations (which is everything and everyone). Then why do certain Churches stand up and discriminate against the LGBT community and say that “God hates fags” and that gays are sick, unnatural, perverted and “against, God’s will”? Because, if he is real then he created us and if he is perfect (as you so claim) then he did it on purpose.

So we have a few options here:

1) He’s real and not perfect.

2) He’s real and doesn’t love all of his creations (in which case, why create us?)

3) He’s not real and we’re here due to some difference in our biochemistry or our

     social surroundings.

 Either way – you’re wrong about something.

Is more proof needed in the case of “God is not the righteous, fair, kind and loving figure you assume he is but he is, in fact, a lying, evil, twisted, sick, little creep who needs serious mental health treatment”? Okay then, here’s some more.

Deuteronomy 22: 28-29 - “If a man is caught in the act of raping a young woman who is not engaged, he must pay fifty pieces of silver to her father.  Then he must marry

the young woman because he violated her, and he will never be

allowed to divorce her.”

OH, HOLY FUCKING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, someone, explain to me what kind of loving, caring person would force a victim of rape to marry her attacker and remain with him forever? How is that kind on any level? That is sick and cruel. You bring me one woman who has been raped and her attacker and – if she can handle being in the same building as him without having a nervous breakdown due to the trauma – I will ask her if she would marry this man (if he pays her Father, of course). Bet you anything she would call you every name under the sun and a couple of hours later a very strong person would be at your door beating the shit out of you (regardless of whether she’d already done it herself. And if that wasn’t bad enough, seems like Mr. God-man up there thinks that you can get away with anything if you fork over enough cash for it – look at that, the law is wrong, bribery should not be illegal because God says it’s okay.

And the sickness doesn’t stop there. Oh no! Not only does God not care about rape victims he also loves a good killing doesn’t he? Even, killing children:

Hosea 9:11-16 – The glory of Israel will fly away like a bird, for your children will die at birth or perish in the womb or never even be conceived.  Even if your children do survive to grow up, I will take them from you.  It will be a terrible day when I turn away and leave you alone.  I have watched Israel become as beautiful and pleasant as Tyre.  But now Israel will bring out her children to be slaughtered."  O LORD, what should I request for your people?  I will ask for wombs that don't give birth and breasts that give no milk.  The LORD says, "All their wickedness began at Gilgal; there I began to hate them.  I will drive them from my land because of their evil actions.  I will love them no more because all their leaders are rebels.  The people of Israel are stricken.  Their roots are dried up; they will bear no more fruit.  And if they give birth, I will slaughter their beloved children." 

Ensuring that women can’t conceive; making it so women can’t feed their children (if they are lucky enough to have any); making sure no one can eat; slaughtering children? And this is your “good guy” – fucking hell! I’d hate to see what you believe the Devil is capable of; I mean God has murder and rape covered. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously? This is what you put your faith and trust into? I would’ve thought anything would be preferable to this...

“How the world was made.”

Okay let’s cut the bullshit and get straight to the point. In Christianity, the opinion of how the planet was created is called the “Story of Creation” and this is the part where Biblical Literalists really show themselves up as the ignorant, simpletons who are so blinded by their faith that they cannot see how wrong they are.

Biblical Literalists believe that the world is 6,000 years old, and when faced with a fossil that is (known to be) at least 70 million years old, they stick to “no, that fossil is 6000 years old”. Some of them have even gone to the extent of saying that dinosaurs lived in the Garden of Eden with Adam & Eve, 6000 years ago. I’m sorry – well, actually, I’m not but anyway – the idea that dinosaurs were around and living with Adam & Eve (humans) is ridiculous! If Adam & Eve did live with the dinosaurs then they sure as hell wouldn’t have lived to be more than 900 years old.

AND humans wouldn’t be around now because we would’ve died out with them (you know, if they didn’t eat us first) – DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No one was around when the world was started so no one is 100% sure about how it happened so what makes you think that many people writing out a story over 1000s of  years got it right? Even scientists call the Big Bang Theory a theory because they could be proved wrong at any point – and that is based on evidence not just a story. Also, the amount of changes made to the Bible by vicious wannabe-dictators (a.k.a. Popes) means that anything in it could be twisted and altered – I don’t understand how you can set your mind to believing that story and teach your children to do so too.

Humans are the best:

Really? Because Darwin didn’t seem to think so.

Good old Charles Darwin, gave up on Christianity when his research revealed it was bullshit.

And the Creationists really – and I mean REALLY – don’t like him or anyone who agrees with him and his research (you know what research is, it’s when you look for evidence to back up your ideas – it’s kind of like what early Christians did with the Bible only...not).

Mr Darwin removed the idea of there being a designer of the world. He showed that every species evolved from something else, there was no fixity of species (there is no unique species that has never been something else). This pissed the Literalists right off because they believed that God was the designer and they argued and stated “God designed the world” and Darwin’s theory of Evolution just showed that there is no designer and that means no God.

But, what really pissed them off was him stating in his book – and according to wise Mr Izzard, “That book was called ‘monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, monkey, you’” – that (as the title suggests) humans were descendent from monkeys. OUCH! That had to hurt. The bible states that humans were the superior creation and they were brilliant and created in God’s image. Old Charlie-boy pretty much shattered Genesis 1 – 3.

He also revealed (among many other things) that humans are just animals and are not superior to all other animals on the planet – fact. Christians didn’t like that idea very much because according to Genesis 1, humans have dominion over all other animals and can do as they wish with those animals, and if Genesis says it then it must be so. I mean if Genesis can be proven wrong in one area then it can easily be proven wrong in general.

Darwin’s theory of Evolution by Natural Selection just turns the idea of an omnibenevolent and perfect God to shit. This theory states that nature is a case of “survival of the fittest”; the strongest of each species continues on while the weak ones are killed and die out which helps each species go from strength to strength. On what level is that kind – creating something just so it can die? And how is it perfect – surely, if God was designing creatures he wouldn’t make the weak ones he’d go straight from the best version of each animal, wouldn’t he?

“You shall not steal”

Good start Bible writers – begin with complete and total hypocrisy. They preach that people should not steal from others, funny, they obviously forgot that rule when they were stealing bits and pieces of other creatively, mind-numbingly, boring systems (religions) and creating their own sordid, little, system of rejection and prejudice (religion). In the words of Eddie Izzard there were, “all these Pagan religions, and Christians went *boom, splat* that seems to fit.” They took the bits they liked and no one else could have them for example (more Izzardian wisdom); “Christmas is when we remember Chris – and how he so brilliantly landed on that pagan ritual of being born on the 25^th of December.” It is amazing how the figure head of Christianity managed to be born on the date of a Pagan festival, isn’t it? An amazing and (ironically) magical coincidence, don’t you think?

Catholics and their precious Pope:

Saved the best until last.

Everyone knows about the scandal surrounding the Catholic Church so I won’t bore you with details. Now, rape is disgusting. Raping young children is appalling (to say the least) and I am horrified by the entire thing. But what really gets me is the Pope. This man is supposed to be the closest thing to God that we can get on Earth. He knows what God wants and what God thinks. Pope Benedict XVI (a.k.a. vicious, vile, evil prick or Benny) is guilty of defending (supposed) paedophiles. He allowed them to keep their jobs and remain spending time with children. You cannot claim that this man is god-like without being accepting of paedophilia.

How on Earth can you still see him as a sacred figure? He is a fucking evil bastard that should be locked up for life. Ignore the whole question of God for this bit I’m more focused on the Prick. He defended, protected and supported those priests even though he knew they had been sexually abusing children. He did not allow them to be punished – yet you still worship him, look up to and admire him and see him as a moral and righteous figure, WHAT THE FUCK?!

A man goes into a village shop and brutally murders the person behind the till. Another man, standing outside sees everything that happens yet when the police arrive he doesn’t tell them who the man was or even what he looked like or which direction he ran off in. I think we can all agree that man is as bad as the murderer, yes?

Based on this, that fucking precious Pope of yours is just as evil as the rapists he protected.

ANYONE in ANY JOB who covers up for ONE paedophile is an evil twat. But one man who covers for MANY paedophiles and puts HUNDREDS if not THOUSANDS of children in danger is a complete and total CUNT!!!!!!!!!! Are you seriously going to tell me that this man is the closest thing to the perfect God that you preach about? The amazing and loving God you say I should worship? Rape is your definition of perfect and loving?

It makes sense, I mean, if we look back at the bible passages I’ve put in here we’ve got one about how God is in favour of rape and how he loves killing children, so it makes total sense that raping children would be in the G-man’s top 5 favourite activities.

Want to know the ironic thing. The popular line these bastards use to condemn homosexuals is this: “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” This line was originally written in Hebrew (like the rest of the Bible). Now, in it’s original form the word used for “man” meant a man of any age. However, the word used for “male” referred to a male child. So the line actually says, “If an adult man lies with a male child as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood is upon them.” So priests have kept their jobs, been defended by the Pope even though they disobeyed the words in the Bible. Hypocrisy much?

Tim Minchin perfectly (and I’m using that word correctly) sums up my feelings about the Pope and the paedophile ring he protects:

“Fuck the motherfucker and fuck you motherfucker
If you're still a motherfucking papist 
If he covered for a single motherfucker who's a kiddie fucker,
Fuck the motherfucker he's as evil as the rapist.”

By the way, I would like to add (including this one) there are 6 passages in the Bible which condemn homosexuality, there are 362 which condemn heterosexuality – so, can’t go bitching at us because “God” hates you more. 

Anyway, there will be more reasons regarding why I think religion is a crock of old shit but these are the ones I can think of just now. I could probably write 20 pages on why Christianity is a sordid, scheme of manipulation and brain washing but this will do for now. I would like to state that people say that Science and Religion can work together and they probably can but that cannot be confused with Science and Faith because (here’s more Timboian wisdom): “Science adjusts it’s views based on what’s observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved.”

Just in case – for some reason – a Catholic person has stumbled upon this and been offended, feel free to leave a comment and tell me that. But before you do, I’d like you to read a bit more of my favourite Tim Minchin song, because I cannot, possibly, even attempt to say it as eloquently as he has:

“If it made you feel angry go ahead and write a letter
But if you find me more offensive then the fucking possibility
Of the pope protecting priests when they where getting fucking fiddly
Then listen to me motherfucker, this here is a fact
You are just as morally misguided as that motherfucking
Power hungry, self-aggrandised, bigot in the stupid fucking hat.”

References:

Jimmy Carr - Twitter: @jimmycarr - website: jimmycarr.com 

Eddie Izzard- Twitter: @eddieizzard- website: eddieizzard.com

Tim Minchin- Twitter: @timminchin - website: timminchin.com

Dedicated to Jo-anna because she's just properly come out and I'm so proud of her :D
Rainbowfied it just for you :)

More pricks on the pin-cushion of ignorance

I have something to write about - I'm happy. Unfortunately that’s the best attempt I can make at finding a “silver lining” on this grey-fucking-cloud.

These stupid, uneducated, ignorant, narrow-minded people should not be allowed to comment on how “common” LGBT people are.

Jean Alexander, the actress who played Hilda Ogden until 1987, said in a recent interview: “Every community has people who are gay and they are very nice people. I’m not running the Street down – and let’s not forget its creator Tony Warren is gay – but three couples seems excessive.”

Now Jean, I would like to congratulate you on your startling ability to point out the obvious – there are gay people in every community, well done! I’d also like to correct you on a few things:

1)      Not every gay person is nice. You can’t make a general statement about an entire group of people, because each person is different and being gay has nothing to do with whether you are nice or not.

2)      What has the sexuality of the creator of Corrie got to do with anything?

3)      There are not (now pay attention) NOT three gay couples on Coronation Street. There are two. The other couple you are probably referring to are Roy & Haley who, by the way, are not gay. Haley is a transgender woman and they are both heterosexual. So go educate yourself before you make ignorant comments that just make you look stupid.

Nick Cochrane, who played Andy McDonald, said: “How many streets in Britain would have schoolgirl lesbians, gay married couples, a transsexual and children to gay couples? It is a little bit far-fetched.”

Nick, really?! You obviously have no concept of the amount of LGBT people there are in the world. As a matter of fact, in my small, rural, conservative town with five churches, on my street there’s:

·         Me

·         One older gay couple (who’ve been together a while)

·         One single gay man

·         A lesbian couple (with a baby)

So, no it’s not really that far-fetched to have a few LGBT people on one street near Manchester when it can happen here. Is it? Tit.

Andrew Lancel, who plays Frank Foster, was reportedly by the Daily Star as saying: “I believe there are too many gay people on Coronation Street.

Well Andy, I don’t know quite how to say this because everyone is entitled to their beliefs but: you’re wrong. And to quote Billy Connolly, “fuck off!”.

I swear, these people need taken into a room and taught a few things. Just because they don’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen. There are a lot of LGBT people out there and sometimes we end up living in the same street as each other – I know, how rude of us, the decent thing to do is spread out a bit. Oh well.

Seriously though, 7 LGBT characters on one programme is not excessive. It’s representative and should be celebrated not condemned. One show will never be able to represent everyone but surely Coronation Street and it’s cast should be praised for trying.


See Pinknews story here.

Pick a number and I'll tell you why you're in my heart

Pick a number and I’ll tell you why you’re in my heart.

I have a handful of people who have impacted my life substantially. And although each impact has been in a different way they have all been beneficial. There’s a thing called “overcompensation” that everyone knows about – it’s the guy who buys a flashy car in order to make up for his lack of inches; it’s the extremely closeted lesbian who overly flirts with guys to stop people from working out that she’s gay. My method of overcompensation is my sense-of-humour, my sensitivity (which isn’t my strongest point) and my attempt at giving advice and helping my friends with things. I try to do these things with all of my friends but with the people this is about, I try to do it extremely well because I feel I’m getting a better deal than they are. And these are the reasons that these people deserve this special treatment...

Number 3: For some reason we just clicked a couple of months ago and we’ve been pretty close since then. You’re a total bitch (so proud) who never misses an opportunity to rip the shit out of me for certain things (you know who and what I mean) but you only do it for a laugh. We have our own “little” jokes and we’ve shared a few bitching sessions. You’re a fast learner when it comes to “ding” and I love the banter that comes with it. I know people who can make me laugh but I don’t know anyone who can make me smile like you do – you have this natural charm that just makes people happy, but you do make me laugh as well. One person has described us as being “joined at the hip” which I’m not going to complain about. You’re a strong, intelligent, kind, funny, gorgeous guy who needs to give himself more credit. I envy you for quite a few things, one being that you get all the girls – grrr – but mostly I envy your strength, although I also admire you for it. Your lack of knowledge about just how great you are is one of your most endearing qualities. It’s not been long since our friendship began but it’s progressed rapidly, you are the “Jack” to my “Karen” and I love you to bits. I honestly can’t imagine my life without you now.

Number 4: This time last year we were just beginning our regular banter. Who’d have thought that we’d be here now? You are the funniest guy I know and you have (unknowingly) helped me through really hard times just by using your sense of humour. You’ve brought me into a group of the kindest, most accepting people I’ve ever met and introduced me to another amazing friend – who, without you, I never would’ve met. We’ve had one bust up in the time we’ve been properly friends – which is good going by my standards – but even that couldn’t keep me away from you for long.  You’re a total legend and an absolute babe and the best boss any King/Chief could ask for. You are my gay husband and an absolute star and if we were both men I’d marry you :P

Number 7: You’ve been there for me through the extreme lows and never lost patience with me during the stubborn (and extremely miserable) conversations. You’ve backed me up when I’ve come into conflict with certain “sensitive” people and you’ve always been there when I need to rant and rave about them. We have regular bitches about common annoyances and we collectively investigated a certain person looking for evidence to back up our “theory” about him and his Transformers. You can be quite slow (which I often point out – in a funny, non-offensive kind of way) but you can come out with lines that I would be proud of. We worked together on a project that meant the world to me and we took on the work of the whole group in order to get it done properly and on time. You also tolerated my bitchy, dictatorship in that project and reminded me to have fun with it as well. You’re a hard worker, a good friend and someone who appreciates my worship of Tony. You’re also my workout buddy – occasionally and (even though we regularly discuss your lack of brain cells) we both know you’ve got a fully functioning and intelligent head on those shoulders (above your neck obviously – that phrase pisses me off).

Number 9: I can honestly say you are my most trusted friend. I’ve told you things I have never trusted anyone else enough to tell them and I haven’t got a single ounce of regret about telling you – which is something new. You have – without knowing it – vastly reduced my self-loathing and the shame I had about my sexuality, and you have given me an extreme boost of pride. Our (minor) telepathic connection makes conversations with you practically unnecessary and if it wasn’t for the vast amounts of entertainment I get from having them then we wouldn’t need to bother because we could both (accurately)predict the other’s remarks. You seem to trust me with things and you tolerate my worst habits without becoming too aggravated. You have quick wit (sometimes), you’re insanely gorgeous and you have a dazzling smile – you’re also going to hate me for saying this, but fuck it. My life has improved greatly since you’ve become a major part of it and I hope you continue to be in my life for as long as you can tolerate me and all my insecurities, paranoia, excessive rambling and inappropriate humour when I become nervous – which I know can be annoying.

Number 11: Wow! We just seemed to get each other on a humour basis. The banter could go on for a long time because we both knew the other was kidding and we both knew where the line was. And your great qualities didn’t stop there. As I got to know you a little more I began to see the more sensitive side to you: the loyal friend and pushy match-maker. The praise you get from a certain mutual friend of ours (you know who I’m talking about) made me want to know you more and the support you’ve shown her and the kindness you’ve shown me has significantly improved my opinions of the straight community. Your extreme intelligence makes me jealous (which I’m not ashamed to admit) and I hope the banter keeps on rolling. I should also add, you are rather hot – waste of a girl (JOKES, you are hot but you know...awkward...).

Number 24: Well, what can I say that you don’t already know? We have quite a bit of history – mostly good. We’ve shared moments of humour, moments with a more serious tone and some I will never forget. We’ve annoyed the shit out of each other at times and disagreed on things but our friendship has remained intact through all of that. You’ve been an important part of my life and I’ll treasure (most of) my memories of you forever.

Ignorance Benefits None

Brian, Brian, Brian – how I pity you.

A recent story on Pinknews (which you can read here) has caused mixed feelings in me. At first I was purely angry at Brian Sewell – the art critic mentioned in the story – but gradually I also began to pity him. This poor, poor man has such a twisted, self-hatred that seeing happy LGBT... people on television has caused him to feel so much shame that he feels the need to take it out on the writers of British Soaps.

But I am still angry. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to educate any people who share this – apparently bisexual – man’s views.

According to Pinknews, Sewell wrote (in the Daily Mail – big surprise), that the wide range of LGBT characters in soaps make “sane” viewers feel their noses are being “rubbed in it”. I’m sorry, are you saying that those people who have no problem with LGBT... characters are insane? Because that itself, is insane. The people you are describing as sane are those who have a form of prejudice towards people. If prejudice is sane then I think I’m happy to take the label of insanity.

Also, the “wide range of LGBT characters” are representing the public. You don’t hear people complaining about the large amount of hetero-normative characters do you? No and that’s because they are typical of everyday life, as are LGBT people.

Just to clarify, people are not having their noses “rubbed” in anything, they are being shown storylines that are realistic and relevant to the 21^st Century – that’s where we are now, in case you missed it.

The 79 year old also wrote; “There’s too much, not only of Gay men – who are estimated to make up just six per cent of the population, but who dominate the storylines in the soap – but also of lesbians, bisexuals, the trans-gender community, cross-dressers and everyone else with some sexual quirk or fetish.” Okay, let’s start with a summary of this. Basically he has just said “minorities don’t deserve their own storylines” and, “not being hetero-normative means you have a fetish”.

Now, something to educate people, the stories and characters are kept representative. In EastEnders there is one Gay couple; in Emmerdale there is one main Gay character (now), and Coronation Street is the most inclusive as they have, one Transgender character, one Gay-male couple and one teenage Lesbian couple – not exactly an unfamiliar sight in Manchester. Yes, these characters are given big storylines and this is because – now hold on to your hat – LGBT people have lives too and events that happen in an LGBT person’s life are just as valid for storylines as those that take place in a heterosexual/hetero-normative person’s life.

Sewell wrote about Coronation Street, “Is it true that the lives of heterosexual Mancunians are haplessly intertwined with transvestites, transsexuals, teenage lesbians and a horde of homosexuals across the age range? Is Manchester now the Sodom of the North?”

As I previously stated, there is one Transgender person, one same-sex male couple and one Lesbian couple on Coronation Street. Manchester is a diverse city with a variety of people and has a very varied population. It is not uncommon to see two same-sex couples and a transgender individual in one town in a city that has held World Pride. I mean come on! I live in a rural town with about 5 churches in it and even here we have two same-sex male couples and a few lesbians – so if our conservative little shit-hole can do it then a town in Manchester surely can.

Sewell continued his flowing stream of nonsensical bullshit by stating that the BBC spreads “sexual propaganda” to “pre-pubescent children” by showing these couples. He then asked whether Gay relationships were suitable for pre-watershed television, “The dear old egalitarian BBC protested that its policy is to portray Gay and hetero- sexual relationships in exactly the same way, both equally suitable for pre-watershed viewing. But are they equally suitable?”

I expect this from extremely-religious and/or very conservative straight people but from a bisexual art critic?! Same-sex relationships are no more or less suitable for pre-watershed TV than heterosexual relationships are. At the end of the day saying that same-sex couples (male or female) are inappropriate is just promoting the idea that we are bad, shameful and society’s dirty little secret. Letting people believe that we are different and therefore we’re bad. ENOUGH!!!!! I don’t accept this view from the conservative bashers of various holy scriptures – why would I accept it from a bisexual person involved in the liberal arts? Seriously, this view is about as old as the Popes who push/have pushed it (combined).

 I doubt you’ll ever see this Brian, but just in case – grow up already! You’ve labelled yourself bisexual now you need to accept it and allow yourself to get with that man that you’ve had your eye on for ages but haven’t had the guts to make a move on because of the crippling hatred you’ve had towards yourself. It’s not enough to place the label on yourself, you have to accept the fact that it is you; you don’t go around saying that your attraction to men is a “disability” and an “affliction”.

I can’t get over the fact that this argument came from a self-proclaimed bisexual. A person who is attracted to members of the same sex, saying that same-sex relationships are inappropriate for TV and that LGBT people shouldn’t have storylines in Soaps, just doesn’t fit in my head. As far as I’m concerned it is an unfathomable concept. I know there are homophobic homosexuals out there, even I went through a stage of that but I never said that other people shouldn’t show their love and they shouldn’t be represented on TV. I don’t have the right to say that and neither does anyone else.

The fact of the matter is, as long as people exist they will be represented on TV. Whether they are disabled, Gay, teachers, immigrants, paedophiles, murderers, what ever – as long as they are around you’ll see them. And keeping children “innocent” about the existence of LGBT people is pointless because they know about straight people from day one – with fairytales promoting the hetero-normative lifestyle and saying that the main aim of any female is to get kissed by a hot guy. Any kids going around thinking “I’m not like that” is not benefiting from being kept ignorant of LGBT people are they?

Even straight kids who are kept oblivious are not better off – they’re going to find out about LGBT people eventually and if they know about it from early on then the presence of LGBT people will not be such a big deal later on. Also, if they know about LGBT people then they are less likely to bully kids who come out later on – which makes life easier for everyone.

And to quote the great Paul O’Grady, “Get over yourselves papers! There are gay people in the world! There are gay people on telly! In fact if you got rid of all the gay people there'd be no TV!”

"The Fence".

Feelings are strange things. They basically control your life. If you don’t feel happy then you don’t put much energy into what you’re doing, but on the other hand, if you’re in the best mood you’ve ever been in then everything is going to go a lot better.

Unfortunately it’s not all that black and white. Sometimes I wish it was. I wish I could have one feeling about one thing, not five different ones for the same thing. But at the same time, I’m glad that there are more than just two options. I’m glad that there is a spectrum and that you don’t need to be in either field, you can sit on the fence and be as ambivalent as you like – which just goes to prove my point.

I have a relativist morality. I don’t have one rule to fit all circumstances. People that know me would be shocked at that. They’d think I’d have at least one concrete rule of: no discrimination. But the fact is, without discrimination there would be no sexuality, no prison sentences, no law. Everyone discriminates against people – who you are attracted to, is discrimination, otherwise you would be attracted to everyone. Without discrimination you wouldn’t know right from wrong, you couldn’t punish someone for murder, for example, as you’d be treating them differently to everyone else – for something which cannot be 100% proved to be their fault. If you see the word “paedophile” I bet the first feeling you have is negative. You’re probably disgusted by the people who fall in that label and you’d never associate with any of them – that’s discrimination. The type(s) of music you’re into and the friends you have all come down to you not liking other kinds of music and not associating with all types of people – discrimination. Our entire social-world is based on discrimination, without it there would be no individuality as everyone would like everything and everyone.

Some people would say that if sexuality didn’t exist then that would be a good thing as there would be no problems with equality and no homophobia/heterosexism. And I agree. But I also believe that my sexuality has made me the person I am today. I faced rejection, isolation, exclusion and abuse simply for being attracted to the same sex. It has caused me to feel deep depression and even more self-loathing than I had before. And even though I feel terrible most of the time, I don’t think I would change it, if I could. Think about it, if I can go through 4 years of constant abuse and still get decent grades and still be alive (even though it’s hard to stay that way) then I can do anything. I can be a strong person and fight for my right to be here. I can stand in the centre of town and kiss my girlfriend without caring what anyone is saying about me because I’ve heard it all before. I take on any challenge and tackle it head on. I don’t give up on anything, I try to see the good in people and more to the point, because of my experiences I never dismiss the idea of associating with someone due to one thing about them that I might not like – I try getting to know them and seeing if we have things in common.

While I do have extreme self-esteem issues and I have developed the good old fashioned defence mechanism which pushes people as far away as possible and means I make fun of them a lot, my confidence level in public places is about 0% and my self-love is so low it makes the North Pole look like Barbados, there have been some benefits. I am quite confident in myself during a confrontation or when it comes to defending other people, I believe in myself when it comes to humour as it’s one thing I rarely fail to achieve, I’m not as shy about kissing a girl in public or holding her hand because – thanks to a certain number of black belts I know and a charming Librarian – I know I can take them on. I know that when it comes right down to it, as long as there is someone else with me, I can take on anyone because I’ll be defending them. And even though I like being on my own, I don’t trust myself enough to fight back if I got attacked so I am constantly in company - which, even though the motive is bad the end results are good as it means I have stronger relationships with my friends. I know that when someone else is being bullied or harassed, I can cheer them up and back them all the way through it. My confidence, love and pride of my sexuality come from there. They come from the fact that because I’m gay, I did go through (and still am going through) a lot of abuse and torment and I know how that felt. Because of this, I know how other people would feel and I definitely know I don’t want any of my friends to feel that way.

Yes, I look like a major hypocrite. A good friend of mine isn’t allowed to not eat properly as she’ll damage herself, but it’s okay for me to drag sharp pieces of plastic along my arm because it’s me...I don’t matter. She matters – she’s important. Her parents make fun of her but they don’t do it to be horrible, she has a good relationship with her Mum and a sustainable one with her Dad. She has more confidence with people than I do – she can actually look people in the eye when she’s talking to them. I can’t even look her in the eye when I talk to her. It’s pathetic.

Even though I have confidence, love and pride in myself and my sexuality and I feel lucky to be this way. I also have deep shame, fear and depression due to it as well. I keep trying to tell myself “Being gay isn’t the problem, people are the problem” but it doesn’t work. My brain seems to follow the idea of Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc. I was coping before I was publicly gay, then I came out and now I want to die. Therefore, I want to die because I am out.

Internal conflict is rarely good but this one is horrible. Mainly because I agree with both sides, I am completely on the fence about this – some days I’m on the “I’m proud, I’m going to be openly gay and teach in a secondary school” side, other days I’m on the “I’ll be a teacher but they don’t need to know” side and then all the other days I chop and change between the two.

Apparently, as soon as I leave school, everything will get better. I highly doubt it. All of the negative feelings I have towards myself – which keep getting stronger – are not going to go away overnight. I’m going to have to see a doctor and I will probably end up on medication but it’s needed. I know I shouldn’t want to die and I know I should remember how it feels to be happy. I don’t remember being properly happy – I know I can put myself on a bit of a high but after about an hour it fades and the darkness rolls back in.

Maybe I would be better off with a husband and 2.4 kids. But I know I’d be happier with a wife and 2.4 kids.

Twisted

Tears me down without a thought,
I can’t be happy without being caught.

Doesn't like me being me,
Destroys all hope that I can see.

Brings in shame when I am proud,
Keeps me quiet when I should be loud.

Holds me back when I am trying,
Keeps me grounded when I should be flying.

Makes me panic when all is well,
Punishes me, if I should tell.

The people whom I trust deeply,
Just get told that I am sleepy.

Can’t tell the truth without pain,
Made to look like I’m insane.

Honest is what I strive to be,
All I want is to be free.

It’s not that I want advice, as such
But why do I hate myself so much?

Bad Guys Shouldn't Win!

An 18 year old boy has killed himself due to a live feed of a sexual encounter he had, with a guy, being broadcast live by his roommate. I am astounded! Absolutely gobsmacked!

How does this even come into someone’s head? How does broadcasting someone else’s intimate moment even resemble a good idea?!? Does anyone know how that seems like a good idea? Those “friends” need their brains rewired.

And no, I am not angry about this just because the victim was gay. I am appalled and angered by this because it is an invasion of privacy; it is wrong AND because of this next bit. The boy who committed suicide was in the closet, his sexuality was a secret. He asked to have the room to himself until midnight so he could have some privacy. Now, the two people that set of the broadcast were his friends, so when they saw that this boy was kissing a guy they would have realised that he is gay and the thought should have entered their brain “he never told us, so it’s a secret and we should respect that” but did they think that? Did they fuck! Instead of the “respect our friend” thought they had the “let’s out him by setting up a live broadcast for the whole world to see”. Fucking idiots!

How can they call themselves friends after doing that?

People say suicide is selfish and cowardly. I couldn’t disagree more! If a person has been pushed to an extent where death seems like the only option, they are anything but cowardly. If you know anyone that has considered committing suicide but changed their minds at the last minute, you might find that they didn’t go through with it as they were too scared to jump, tie that knot, pick up the knife or pop those pills.

The people that do commit suicide are not cowards and they are not selfish. They have been pushed to their limit and feel as though they have no way out. They are depressed and in a lot of mental and/or physical pain and they do not deserve to be thought of as the bad ones. Why not look at the people that pushed them to suicide? Why do people look at the victims and say “oh that’s just selfish. Why didn’t they think about their family and friends??? Piss off you ignorant pricks! These people are VICTIMS. Come on say it with me, sound it out V-I-C-T-I-M-S!!! Their family and friends are the least of their worries at this point. They are stressed about what’s going to happen to them next time they go to school or work or just out in public. They have been verbally/physically attacked regularly for a long time yet you hear about them killing themselves and the first thing you think is “selfish”. First thing I think of when I hear a suicide story is “Oh My God! Poor Boy/Girl”.

Anyone out there that knows of someone that is considering suicide or maybe you are thinking about it yourself. I am begging you. Please don’t! I know how you feel. Trust me, I know. But I have it on good authority that it gets better! Please don’t miss out on your chance to be happy and in 10 years the people that attack you, will be fat, bald and living a life of loneliness and heartbreak. You are so much better than them. The only thing they have going on in their heads is a limited supply of offensive bullshit and when that runs out they have nothing whereas you have everything going for you. You know that people deserve love and equality, you know that education, love and acceptance are the ways we will improve this world. You know this and if you do commit suicide that is one more brilliant person gone while those bastards are still around. The good guys always win. Those are the rules and you are a good-guy (or girl).

I’ll be honest, I don’t know if it does get better but I’ll let you in on a little secret. The thing that keeps me going is curiosity. I want to find out if it does get better. I mean surely if so many people make videos and ads for it then there has to be some truth to it...so why don’t you stick around and we can find out together?
xx