Jimmy Carr: A Comedian, Being Funny and Making People Laugh by Telling Jokes!

It never fails to astonish me how some well mannered, educated and polite people can be so painfully stupid! I was scrolling through some Jimmy Carr stuff and I came across a post where one person had asked someone.

“So you’re a feminist who think what jimmy carr said about women exercising is funny?”

My question: why wouldn’t someone who believes in equality for women, find Jimmy Carr funny?

The response to the question was:

“No. If you take a look, I actually posted a caption in response saying “One of many reasons to hate Jimmy Carr.” I hate his comedy and I don’t think he’s a very nice person. His jokes are stemmed from the dehumanisation and oppression of those who don’t fit the socially privileged characteristics he possesses of being white, heterosexual, middle class, middle aged and male. It is pretty common knowledge that he makes jokes about sexual harassment, rape and humours anybody over 10 stone” There is then a link provided to this video and she says, “Watch this video of him epitomising the double standard by congratulating a male audience member for his sex life and calling the female audience member “a dirty little hussy” for embarking on the same sexual activity. I could literally make a playlist of 1000s of videos where Jimmy Carr has used his privilege to degrade minority groups and even his own audience members. “I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time,” to quote Kat Stratford from 10 Things I Hate About You.”

Now, where do I begin? How about at the very beginning, “a very good place to start” to quote Maria from The Sound of Music. Okay, you don’t like Jimmy Carr’s comedy fair enough. But you don’t know the man so how can you say you hate him? You can hate his comedy, by all means, but let’s be realistic. I’m going to assume that, since you’re not a fan, you’ve never met him. Therefore you are in no position to comment on whether he is a “nice person” or not. I, on the other hand, have met him and he is a very polite, charming, funny and grateful man. He is thankful to everyone who goes to his shows and tries to make the experience as great as he can for them – which is why (even though he must be exhausted) he stays behind after the shows and does a signing and has a chat with people who want to talk to him. I’m sorry, I fail to see how he is not a “very nice person”.

“His jokes are stemmed from the dehumanisation and oppression of those who don’t fit the socially privileged characteristics he possesses of being white, heterosexual, middle class, middle aged and male.” BULLSHIT! They mention these topics yes, and do you know why – because what he says is funny. It’s called “dark humour”, and guess what, he’s on stage talking to people who have paid money to see him. They chose to be there or to buy the DVD, you also chose to watch these videos. You’re creating your own misery – if you don’t like him don’t watch him. His jokes are not about rape being funny, his jokes are all about word play and taking serious issues and making light of them because that’s how people cope with horrible things. This is one of his jokes:

“They say there’s safety in numbers.

Try telling that to six million Jews.”

Now, at first glance, that’s about the Holocaust – the worst thing that’s happened in Modern History. But when you actually process the joke, it’s not about the Holocaust. It’s a play on words. He’s not saying “hahaha six million  Jews died. LOL that’s so funny!” he’s saying “here’s an innocent lead up, and here’s the punch line, that’s not what you were expecting, ha it’s funny because it’s a surprise and it’s word play”. Not everyone gets it, and that’s good – if everyone had the same sense of humour the world would be a very boring place.

His jokes are not about “dehumanisation and oppression” they are jokes about life. He doesn’t make jokes that say being gay is wrong because he believes that, he says it because it’s funny to make fun of homophobes.

“I think Civil Partnerships...are gay”

Where’s the harm in that? It’s true and funny. It’s also another example of word play. Because he says “gay” in the way a lot of people use it, as a derogatory term, but he literally means homosexual. No one got hurt, no one was dehumanised or oppressed by him.

As for him making jokes about “sexual harassment, rape and humours anybody over 10 stone” that is because he can make it funny. His jokes do not say that sexual harassment is a good thing, they don’t say that rape should be promoted, and he doesn’t make fun of anyone over 10 stone in weight, he mentions the topical issue of obesity and makes jokes referring to society’s attitude towards overweight people.

Not a direct quote but Jimmy Carr has made a joke saying that “rape” is not a nice word

and that it should be called “a struggle snuggle” because

“you couldn’t stay angry and a struggle snuggler”.

Again, his joke is coming from the use of words. It’s all word play. None of his jokes are “rape is good, haha she got raped, sucks to be her”. None of it!

Onto the issue of “Watch this video of him epitomising the double standard by congratulating a male audience member for his sex life and calling the female audience member “a dirty little hussy” for embarking on the same sexual activity.” You are a complete moron if you can’t see the joke behind this. The complaint you’re making about the double standard is the reason he made the comment. He is laughing at the whole double standard. HE DOESN’T MEAN IT! It’s called IRONY! Look it up! In the name of all things funny, it is one of the most common forms of comedy. He has taken something he doesn’t mean and said it to make a point through comedy.

“I could literally make a playlist of 1000s of videos where Jimmy Carr has used his privilege to degrade minority groups and even his own audience members.” Well as I’ve stated previously, you obviously don’t understand his comedy. Jimmy Carr does not do discriminatory jokes, he does not hate minority groups. He ridicules double standards.

“I’ve got a friend who can read the Qur’an backwards.

And that’s good because, that’s how you read it.

He then goes onto say that he made a joke like that because

he’s “not a fucking idiot” and follows that up with,

“What are Christians going to do? Forgive me? Good luck with that.”

Now, this is funny because he basically makes a joke about how it is socially acceptable to make fun of Christians because they’re not going to blow him up, which is the ignorant fear held by many people. His jokes are clever, they have deep meaning in them and if you actually looked you’d understand that jokes like this are not about what they appear to be about. It’s a lot of irony and word play.

He doesn’t use his privilege for anything. He routinely makes fun of his own accent and his background.

This may not be exactly right but I’m working from memory.

“Some of you may be having trouble with the accent.

I do not actually have an accent; this is just what it sounds

like when things are said properly”.

A further exhibition of your ignorance is that you seem to think it’s a terrible thing that Jimmy Carr makes fun of his audience members. You obviously don’t know his fanbase very well. We all go to his gigs and buy the DVDs because we have a dark sense of humour, we can take a joke and we know he doesn’t mean it. Some people go to his gigs in the hope that he will pick on them. To a lot of his fans, having him “shout abuse” at them is an honour because that’s his skill and it’s brilliant. I’ve got a front row seat at a gig on his next tour and I don’t care if he talks to me or not but if he did I’d enjoy every minute of it. I’ve met him twice and he is a very kind and polite man. You can tell when people are fake and I’ll tell you, that is one thing he is not. He appreciates his position and is respectful to all of his fans because he knows that without us, he’d have to go and work in Starbucks. He is one of my favourite comedians and it really pisses me off when people are so ignorant about these things. I mean, I’d understand if you didn’t get it, but his tone and delivery are dripping in irony. It is painfully obvious that he isn’t being genuine in most of the things he says until he says thank you.

I probably rambled and repeated myself a lot in this but I ramble in all of my posts and the repetition was purposeful. I was trying to get the point across that this girl is an idiot who does not understand: irony, satire, word play or the function of the “stop button”.

Hate Speech and Free Speech. Know the difference.

Browsing through pinknews.co.uk and I came across this story. The Daily Mail being accused of homophobia – SHOCKER! I’m so used to seeing/hearing that, it didn’t even faze me. It wasn’t until I read a bit of the story that I started to get angry. Back story: The LGBT... group Stonewall paid for adverts to go on buses. The adverts had one of their slogans on it, “Some people are gay, get over it!” Now, people were smiling at these adverts and other people were just like “wha...oh, what ever. On with life.” Other people decided that they needed to balance out the discussion with “the other side” and tried to put adverts up which said something like “Post gay and proud. Get over it!” Boris Johnson said no and didn’t allow these adverts to go up, which then caused people to kick up a fuss that it was violating their human right of “free speech”. And THIS is when I started to get angry.

Yes, putting up these adverts is part of their free speech and yes if they went into the centre of town and started proclaiming their post-homosexuality status, they’d be within their rights to do so. It is also, within Mayor Boris Johnson’s right to tell you you’re not allowed to do this.

You can complain it’s not fair and that it’s preferential treatment and how your basic human rights are being ignored whereas other groups are getting their opinions out. But here is why Stonewall can have their adverts. Stonewall’s adverts are showing support and sending out a positive message to LGBT kids everywhere. Whilst the wording may appear to be directed at homophobes, it’s not for homophobes. These adverts are up to show kids that they can be who they are without having to worry about prejudice. Your sexuality or gender identity feels like a big deal to you, before you come out, it’s not until afterwards you realise NO ONE CARES! These adverts are showing kids that people don’t care. They don’t have to hide and they don’t have to be scared. There are kids all over the world, wishing they were dead just because they’re attracted to the same-sex or because their gender and sex don’t match up. These adverts could, theoretically, save someone’s life.

Cut to the opposing adverts claiming that you can stop being gay. That’s a dangerous message.

Firstly: it tells people that being gay is something you should change.

Secondly: it encourages people into a system of mentally damaging and harmful therapy

   which opens them up to ridicule and abuse.

Thirdly: It tells people that being gay is bad and does nothing but perpetuate the idea that    

          you’re different and therefore wrong.

My response to the first point. I’ve written about this before but no harm in saying it again. I’ve received a lot of hassle due to my sexuality – I’ve been verbally, emotionally and physically abused for no reason other than being honest about myself. I was told I deserved the abuse because I “advertised my sexuality” even though I didn’t. I was outed – that’s hardly my fault. It’s had long-term effects on me and I still suffer with it. But you know what, I wouldn’t change it. It’s made me who I am. I’m stronger, smarter and a better judge of people for it. I’m more quick-witted because I’ve had practise at comebacks. I first discovered that I’m funny through this abuse. So no, it’s not something that should change. LGBT... people don’t need to stop being LGBT...other people need to change how they treat LGBT...people.

Second point. “Conversion therapy” is very harmful process that DOESN’T WORK! It doesn’t stop people being gay it just teaches them how to ignore and repress their feelings. And most of the time it doesn’t even do that. The most common result of conversion therapy is them leaving with more problems than they went in with. It’s an abusive, humiliating and emotionally destroying system based upon idiotic ideas.

Third point. If everyone who was different was wrong then we’d have no one. Just because there’s not as many of us as there are heteronormative people – doesn’t mean they’re better. Everyone has their own little quirks and traits which makes them special. Your sexuality/gender identity could lead to you having experiences which highlight various skills and abilities you have, which you may not have known about otherwise. This girl only started talking to me because she thought she was bi and needed someone to talk to and I suppose I was the only approachable lesbian she knew. Cut to now, she is one of my closest friends – I wouldn’t have her if I wasn’t gay, because we’d have no reason to talk. My “gay husband” probably wouldn’t be this close to me if I wasn’t gay and my current girlfriend, we probably wouldn’t even be friends if I was straight. I know that’s a big assumption but if I didn’t have my “gay husband” I wouldn’t be working for his production company, I wouldn’t have started working with a certain gorgeous girl, I wouldn’t have had a reason to talk to her and we wouldn’t have any kind of relationship. I didn’t know I was reasonably good at promotions until I joined this company (I’m not brilliant but I know my way around advertising now). I wouldn’t have a show – that I wrote – being performed next year, because I wouldn’t have had the experiences which inspired it. A lot of bad things happened to me. But that wasn’t because I’m gay. They happened because of the attitudes other people had about me being gay.

So yeah, you can buy your adverts and have them say what ever you want them to – that’s your right as a citizen in a democratic country. But it’s our right to disagree. It’s out right to say no. And it’s Boris Johnson’s right to stand up and not allow your hate speech to influence more, already vulnerable, people. If you’re going to use your right to free speech use it with a rational brain. You might be targeting the weak kid in the playground, but that kid has friends and those friends will do anything they can to protect him.

University Students is Clever

DISCLAIMER – THIS DOES NOT APPLY TO UNIVERSITY STUDENTS WITH SOME KIND OF LEARNING DIFFICULTY. YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE REASON.

Yes, those with keen eyes will have noticed the grammatical inaccuracy of the title. And yes, it is intentional. I know this may seem nerdy but one thing I was looking forward to about University was getting away from people who speak in a way that would cause Microsoft Word to put a line under almost everything they say. People who say things like “I seen this” or “I done this”, drive me INSANE! And I do correct them, to the point where people are very irritated by me, but I don’t care. Everyone has their “pet peeves”, this is mine, it may seem unimportant to some – and it is in comparison to other things – but it’s a big deal to me. So yes, I was looking forward to getting away from these people.

Cut to a couple of weeks into Semester 1, doing some group work and we decide to take it in turns to type – seemed only fair. So, one of the members of my group sat down to type up the work, we all brainstorm the report and get it done fairly quickly. It gets posted and when I get my copy of it I can’t believe it. The amount of spelling mistakes, the incorrect grammar, the pathetic excuse for sentence structure – it was ridiculous! It barely made any sense. But I kept my mouth shut because I barely knew these people. Every time we did this work (and I didn’t type) it was horrific. These people had no learning difficulties and they were clever enough (obviously, they got into University) but this was appalling. And I know I sound like a snob but seriously, it’s spelling and grammar we get taught this in school for years! These people also made statements like “I’m horrible at spelling”. SO WHAT?! I was horrible at it for years but I practised and now I’m not as bad. If you know you are bad at something THAT YOU NEED why wouldn’t you work at it?! I wouldn’t be as bothered but these reports were going to be graded! A percentage of our module grade was resting on these reports and I was ashamed to have my student number associated with them.

First semester was over and I was happy to find out that I wouldn’t be doing any group work in the second semester. Second semester, going pretty well all the way through, no group work, happy, happy. Psychology Research Methods report lecture. Going through it, all fine, same as last semester until near the end when one of the slides said this:

“Spelling and Grammar

l  “Whether” (as in “whether or not”), NOT “weather”

l  “Their” means belonging to

l  “They’re” means “They are”

l  “There” as in “over there”

l  “Where” is a place, “were” as in “they were” “

That is word-for-word what the slide said. I think it is a joke that a University lecturer has to make these things clear. I understand maybe 3^rd year pupils at Secondary School making these mistakes but First Year at University – come on!

Maybe I’m just being a bitchy snob, maybe I’m just arrogant but I, personally, think that this stuff should be common knowledge. And I am in no way claiming to be perfect, I make mistakes – of course I do – but I try to not repeat them. In fact, it is very likely that there is a mistake or two in this post but I know the difference between “your” and “you’re”, I know that “their” states possession, “there” states location” and “they’re” is a contraction of “they” and “are” – I know it because I was taught it and I paid attention. I’m not blaming teachers, which I know a lot of people do, I’m blaming students who don’t pay attention. 

Thoughts?

Marriage equality and religious interference.

Watching a debate about “gay marriage” on “10 O’Clock Live” really gave me something to write about. Now, I am happy that this was getting some TV time but I was not happy to see that the host (David Mitchell) and the two debaters (musician and singer Boy George and writer for the Catholic Herald Milo Yiannopoulos) were not fully informed on the issue.

It was stated by David Mitchell that Civil Partnerships allow gay couples the same rights and legal and social benefits that marriage provides straight couples. This is not true. A Civil Partnership cannot be dissolved due to adultery. This means that if one of the partners cheats on the other then they’d better have another reason to separate because Adultery just isn’t good enough as far as the law is concerned. I mean sure, they could lie but why should they have to?!

The usual argument of “marriage is commonly recognised as being between a man and a woman, why should we redefine it?” made an appearance and all I could think, whilst watching this was “that, in itself, is a redefinition of marriage” if you want to keep marriage in the original form then you should be saying “marriage is the handing over of control of a woman to a man where he maintains all power and money whilst she spends her life serving his every wish”. Marriage was designed for this purpose. Women had to do as they were told and were controlled by men, whilst men could go out and do what ever they wanted. It was an economic institution it had nothing to do with religion – which defeats your “marriage is a sacred union infront of God” argument because it’s not. In its original state it had nothing to do with religion, it has been redefined over time, by the Church when seeking more power, to mean that. So hail hypocrisy! It’s only okay to redefine things when it benefits the Church.

I cannot understand their prejudice on this issue – in fact I don’t understand their prejudice towards any minority group. Christians used to be the minority, they were the ones being beaten and tortured because of their heretical beliefs. Jews and Pagans used to attack any Christian people they found. Any Christian churches that were found would be burned down and the people would be tortured and/or killed. If they looked back and saw that their Church – which they love and protect – came from a minority of tortured and beaten victims of prejudice then you would think they would treat the LGBT...people with a bit more kindness and acceptance.

It’s no secret that I do not follow any religion, I do not believe in any divine creator but I find religion fascinating and interesting. I like learning about it and most religious people are kind and respectful with their beliefs. You can talk to them about their beliefs and they will be equally interested in yours. It’s others who sit there and tell you that because you are different you cannot be equal. Your differences make you inferior. Well if your God is real, I think he’s going to have a lot of questions for you. I’ll save you a seat in hell – because if it exists, you know I’m going too.

Angry (Blog)

As I have mentioned in a couple of previous blog posts I have an extremely obsessive love of the comedian/actor/writer/musician Tim Minchin – in fact, my love of him borders on addiction. Recently, I have been unable to keep up my cyber-stalking due to other commitments and tonight (22/12/2011) I was excited because I would have time to catch up on all that I have missed. So you can imagine how genuinely excited I was when I opened up YouTube and saw that Tim Minchin had a new video up, I stopped talking to everyone on Facebook and focused all of my attention on this. I opened the video and watched it. The video started with Jonathan Ross, introducing Tim Minchin, on his show, this got me even more excited because I knew it was a new song, which meant one thing – Timbo was going to be on Wossy this week. I watched the video, listened to the song and loved it. It was a mild yet funny song about Christmas, describing Jesus with modern references i.e. Derren Brown and Dawn of the Dead. It did strike me as weird that the song would be put up before the show so I read the video information and you can imagine how thrilled I was when I saw that this song had been cut from the programme due to the offence it could cause a small amount of people who probably don’t even watch Jonathan Ross (the guys from “The Inbetweeners” were on that same episode. I seriously doubt that the prudey-right-wing-conservative-anti-condom-Mary-was-a-virgin-the-Earth-is-only-6,000-years-old-Brigade, who think “raping children is fine but falling in love with a member of the same sex is wronger than evolution” are hardcore clunge fans.

This song, “Woody Allen Jesus” was inoffensive (in comparison to what it could be like), well worded and brilliant. I thought ITV was a great network but if they can’t allow this song to be put on, when (previously) the BBC allowed “5 Poofs and 2 Pianos” to be performed, then I’m going to have to rethink my preferences (not women, they’re always tops, except when they’re bottoms – oh yeah!)

Here’s one verse of this song:

“Jesus was a great entertainer
Doing cool tricks all of the time
Turning water into wine
Making stormy weather fine
Even now his stunts confound us
Kinda did what Derren Brown does”

Does anyone see the offensiveness there? Seriously?! It’s ridiculous! This is how the verse breaks down:

Compliment

Examples supporting the compliment

Further flattery

Pop-culture reference to explain why the compliments are deserved.

Turns out the song was cut out because one gutless-fuckwit at ITV was worried about all the complaints they would get due to the offence that would be caused by the song. Jesus – fucking – Christ, for all the fuss it’s caused, you’d think he’d played Pope Song for fuck’s sake. I would actually understand it if people made this much fuss over Pope Song because (as a friend of mine told me) the word “fuck” is used (including, within words like “fucker” or “fucking”) 108 times in that short song and people don’t like that word much.

This whole situation drives me crazy. I hate it when comedians get (basically) punished when they’ve done nothing wrong. I know, I get offended by stuff but I don’t go to the papers and complain about it, I don’t even write about it on here (I write about stuff that angers/confuses/frustrates me but never something that simply offends me, at least I don’t think I have) I discuss it with my friends – specifically (if it’s LGBT...related, as it mostly is) Jo-anna, and we: rant about it; talk about it; agree about it and that’s how I get it out of my system. You don’t need a massive media-hype about shit that doesn’t even matter. This is just one time I have read a story like this and thought, “grow the fuck up!”

A separate (though not unrelated) example of this kind of idiocy is “Sachsgate” – if you don’t know what that is then where have you been?! This was the front-page news for at least a couple of months in the UK and it was ridiculous! Russell Brand had a radio show with the BBC. One week he had Jonathan Ross on his show (his name seems to be a pattern in these stories) and he was meant to have a comic actor called Andrew Sachs on as well. But Sachs did not show up, so Russell being Russell, he decided to phone him and leave a message. A while into the message when Russell is doing his thing Wossy shouts, “he fucked your granddaughter”. Not a very clever thing to say, I agree, but not worth complaining about. To be fair, only a few people actually complained about it when the show was on but when the papers wrote about it, people (who hadn’t heard the clip and never listened to the show) complained as well, which resulted in Brand and Ross resigning. This baffled me. These two guys were punished for saying something on a pre-recorded show (yes, editors had a chance to cut that out but they didn’t) that hardly anyone (who originally heard it) complained about. It’s pathetic! My motto for TV and Radio has always been “if you don’t like it, don’t watch it”. No one is sitting there forcing you to listen to or watch something (and if they are then you don’t have to pay attention). You can go to your friends and say “that was a load of shit, wasn’t it?” that’s fine but save the complaining for important issues not a joke that didn’t go well. Also, Russell and Wossy are great but was this really worth the front page in most papers, everyday for a couple of months? There are more newsworthy things to report (especially on the front page) than pathetic shit like this. I mean come on, did all other areas of life cave in at the exact moment that this kicked off? I doubt it.

I’ve only ever officially complained about something on TV once and that was something I actually saw on TV. It was a clip, that was recorded during the student protests in England, of a man in a wheelchair being dragged out of it by police and the distasteful interview of the guy in the wheelchair that followed a couple of days later. He was treated despicably and I thought he deserved an apology. That’s the kind of shit you should complain about! Not a fucking joke you didn’t even see!

Another example of these stupid situations involves JimmyCarr. Forgive me for this because I can’t remember the exact details of the incident but here are the basics. During a live (un-televised) gig Jimmy Carr made a joke (I believe it was about injured soldiers) and one of the audience members went to the papers, complained and Jimmy Carr was torn a new one. Complaints and criticism flooded in, bashing him and saying how shit he is. I heard about this and thought, “fuck right off!”

1)      This was not being recorded, it was a live gig in a theatre with no chance of ever being on TV. He can make jokes about anything – that’s the beauty of live comedy.

2)      Jimmy Carr does a lot of work with charities that help rehabilitate injured soldiers so any idiot would know (if they did their fucking research) that he didn’t mean it.

3)      This is for the original stupid bitch who complained. You paid over £25 for a ticket to see a comedy gig. A Jimmy Carr gig!!!!! A gig performed by a man who has said numerously about his shows,      “It's not for the easily fucking offended. It's not even for people that are difficult to offend. Essentially it's for people who are without a moral compass.” If you go to see him live, you know what to expect. It’ll be dark, twisted, belly-bursting jokes, thrown at you a mile-a-minute. You’re offended? Good for you! You have a right to be offended, but surely if you pay attention to the rest of his material then you’d realise other people in the room might be offended too. His material covers every social group! In his last tour he did a mime of “two lesbians breaking up” he used his hands to motion scissoring and made suction noises as he pulled them apart – I was at a gig when he did that, I found it hilarious!

4)      Finally, the key point in this argument. It’s Jimmy – fucking – Carr he tells jokes about everything. He doesn’t mean half the shit he says, it’s just funny. And even more to the point, that’s his job!  

I’ve already written a lengthy blog about the other situation, which got to me, regarding comedians and inappropriate, uneducated, ignorant complaints. It’s called, “Newsflash: Tim Minchin’s Transphobic and Bears StopShitting in the Woods!” give it a read, it’s one of my favourites (and leave a comment, if you haven’t already).

Coming to the end of this post, I feel (as I usually do) like I have rambled on for too long without making my point clear. So, I’ll do one final bit to push the message home. To clarify, I do not, in anyway think that a group’s feelings are illegitimate just because they are a minority, I mean DUH I’m part of a minority. I also do not disagree with censorship in order to protect people’s feelings and lives. I do, however, believe that when censoring anything, you need to be realistic. There is no point removing a song about Jesus from a programme because it might offend people, when the people who might be offended, probably don’t even watch it. Basically, there is no point putting “F**K” instead of “FUCK” in a because, as Tim Minchin pointed out,“F**K means ‘FUCK’ more than ‘FUCK’ means ‘FUCK’”.

HAPPY NEWTONMAS EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!

Shits and (Excessive) Giggles

Some people like music: they go to concerts to see their favourite bands; they have posters of their favourite musicians on their walls and have their favourite song set as their ringtone. I like music too, I like to sing it, I like to play it (or try to anyway) and my ringtone – at one point – was a song written by my friend. I have been to one music concert (that wasn’t comedy – I’ll explain later) which was a Deep Purple gig (I’ve loved them since I had the ability to hear from the womb) and I have a poster of my favourite singer on my wall – Ian Gillan.

But since October 2008 I have been to NINE comedy gigs – arenas and theatres. I have posters of comedians on my walls and my ringtone is a song by a certain comedian (whom I shall tell you about later); the wallpaper on my phone is a photo of a comedian; the majority of my DVDs are stand-up comedy; I bring it into conversations; I quote comedians during arguments (which you will see if you read my blog on Christianity); I have used and still use comedians as revision for some tests and I NEVER stop thinking about it.

It’s the reason I get up in the morning; the cause of any smile on my face; the thing that gets me through the day; the thing that prevents me from sleeping; the reminder of how great things are and (to put it simply) it’s my life. Stand-up comedy. I love it! It’s the only thing that makes me truly accepted. It fascinates me, to no end – the way that one person can string words together and come up with comic-gold! It’s amazing.

People who say “I don’t like comedy” annoy the FUCK out of me – hey dipshit, you like to laugh, you like comedy. Think it through! I have a varied sense of humour. I love the light-hearted observational stuff (like Lee Evans) and I love the dark, twisted, sick-as-fuck stuff (like Jimmy Carr – who says everyone has their limit when it comes to dark humour, just so you know I haven’t found mine yet).

So, because comedy is so important to me, I thought I would write about my favourite comedians and tell you why I love them (some in a more obsessive way than others).

Lee Evans

Who: Lee Evans is a brilliant comic. He takes his material from various aspects of life and he can make anything funny – whether it’s chat lines or speed dating. He talks about family, sex, the general public, and observations he has made, and he does all of this whilst dashing around like a monkey(boy) on crack – his movements make his shows eye-catching and astounding. Then to finish off his show he gets the piano out and performs a song/songs that he has written. His modesty, humbleness and charm are clear throughout his performances and he always makes sure his fans know he loves us and he tells us that he knows how lucky he is. He genuinely doesn’t realise how much we love him – which just makes him even more adorable. He is Britain’s top comedian, he holds the world records and he tries new things. He was one of the first comedians to try out theatres; he was one of the first to move up to arenas and he was the first comedian to have his gig filmed in 3D.

Gigs: This man was my first live gig. He popped my live comedy-cherry and I don’t regret it one little bit. I remember asking my Dad for the tickets for this gig and to be honest I was shocked to get them because he didn’t even try to get them until 2 weeks after I asked. As soon as I found out I got them I was instantly texting my Auntie inviting her to come with me – she was almost as excited as me. Few months later the day arrived and after we went out for dinner we arrived at the arena and found our seats. Sat there in anticipation just waiting to see the man we had admired from afar, for so long. The second I saw him on stage I was star-struck. I remember thinking, “holy shit! I’m in the same room as Lee Evans!” At the end of the gig we waved to him from our seats and, I shit you not, he waved back. He does that every time he sees someone waving at him just, a living legend. I left that gig and my mouth was dry from all the laughing and face was in bits. I thought that it wasn’t possible for him to be funnier than that. 

The second gig, the same as the first. I still got the shock of “holy shit! I’m in the same room as Lee Evans!” but this time I left the gig with a t-shirt and a massive stitch that lasted 3 days. He actually managed it, he upped-the-funny. It was, unbelievable. How you can go from being “legendary” to being even more “legendary” is a mystery but it just goes to show you that he is one of the best.

Memory: My significant memory of him is his reaction during a gig, the first time the audience applauds one of his jokes. The shock, appreciation and gratitude in his face just makes me love him even more. Here is a man who has been doing comedy for decades and is still surprised when people applaud him. I’m not an idiot, I know it’s rooted to his feelings of inferiority and insignificance that he had as a child, I know his gigs are him trying to make everyone love him and him trying to gain some acceptance. I know – I’m a nerd. Since I began writing this, I have met Lee Evans, at his book signing in Edinburgh. 01/12/2011 – the day I met him (also my 18^th birthday). Not only did I achieve my dream of meeting him but I made him laugh. Me an 18 year old student made a professional comedian laugh – that was a very special moment for me. He was so humble and made sure he said “thank you my friend” to everyone who was there and he shook everyone’s hand. He’s adorable, charming and a funny man. I don’t think the reality of meeting him will ever truly sink in.

Michael McIntyre

Who: You know Michael McIntyre, he’s the camp, middle-class, English man who looks Chinese when he smiles. You know the one, he skips instead of walking; his hair has it’s own fan-page on Facebook. Anyway, he’s great. He uses a lot of the same sources as Lee Evans, for his material and never fails to get a laugh. He has fantastic material ranging from raising children to child abuse.  He replaced Simon Cowell as a judge on the last series of “Britain’s Got Talent” and I watched it. I can’t tell you who won but I can tell you Michael McIntyre took no prisoners when the folk auditioning were shit!

Gigs: I saw Michael McIntyre at his first gig in Aberdeen (in 2009) – should mention here, Aberdeen is not on the list of dates for his next tour. It was amazing, a lot of banter between him and certain audience members, brilliant material and fabulous night.

Memory: I went with my Dad, who did not like Michael McIntyre that much and just went because I invited him. My Dad, left that gig having burst out laughing numerous times (I’ll clarify that statement by informing you that my Dad is a silent-laugher). I left that gig with my Dad and he loved Michael McIntyre – this was my first fan recruitment.

Eddie Izzard

Who: Okay, you’d better be kidding me with this. Well, I’ll explain anyway. Eddie Izzard is an astounding comedian. His ‘random’ sounding delivery of material which is made up of highly intelligent and well thought out points, just brings you into his world. Often including impressions of animals, his material ranges from Wikipedia to Religion. He is one of the comedians I watch and listen to in order to learn. He gained the name “Marathon Man” in 2009 for completing 43 marathons in 51 days – with only 5 weeks training. He ended up raising more than £200,000 for Sport Relief.

Gig: I went to an Eddie Izzard gig in November 2009 with my Dad. I will admit, I was disappointed when he appeared on stage in a suit but he was wearing make-up so I forgave him. I laughed my way through that gig and enjoyed every second. I listened, laughed and learned (the 3 ‘L’s) and that was a great night.

Memory: This isn’t really a memory of him but it is something which meant a lot to me. My Dad gives off quite a homophobic vibe – ‘poof’ is used to describe weakness as far as he’s concerned – but he introduced me to Eddie Izzard. My Dad loves Eddie Izzard (who is a transvestite) and just the fact of this makes me happy, makes me think that if I ever come out to him, he might be okay with it.

Jimmy Carr

Who: Seriously, host of the show “Distraction”, host of “8 out of 10 Cats”, on tour all the fucking time! No? Looks like Hitler without the little moustache – there you go! You got it now. Jimmy Carr is a dark, sick and twisted comedian. He finds humour in many places and always challenges his audiences and tests their “level” – by this I mean, at the end of his gigs he tells some jokes with get progressively sicker as they go on, until he finds the one that no one laughs at. I think he’s brilliant. My family don’t like him – but who gives a fuck? More for me. At the end of his gigs, he does a signing – I don’t mean he stands and converses with deaf fans, I mean he signs tickets, programmes and stuff for the audience. If you don’t want anything signed, fine. He’s happy to have a chat with you for a couple of minutes. He’s said before that when he went to gigs the thing that made them great was meeting the comedian afterwards, and that’s why he does it. He doesn’t want his fans leaving and wanting more, he wants them to leave being laughed out and wanting to go home and not want anymore until the DVD comes out.

Gigs: I’ve seen Jimbo twice, both times in the Aberdeen Music Hall. He was my first “theatre gig”. The atmosphere at these gigs is amazing. You’d think that the more people there are the greater the atmosphere, but there’s something about these “smaller” gigs that makes them better than arenas. They are a lot more intimate and the interaction between the comedian and the audience is a lot easier and clearer – which is why Jimbo does these gigs. His comedy involves a lot of audience participation which is always BRILLIANT – although when some people take things too far it does get annoying. Both gigs were amazing. Both gigs made my face hurt from laughing. Both gigs were exactly what I want from a gig: great atmosphere; great crowd; insanely funny and very clever. That’s one thing a lot of people don’t think of when they hear the name “Jimmy Carr”. They think, dark, sick, funny but not many people take not of how clever he is. So, I’m appreciating his intelligence.

Memory: I have two that stand out. After the first gig I saw, I met him. My friend had her arm round me and he asked if we were a couple. We said no (because technically we weren’t) and he said, “oh, okay, thought we might have had a couple of scissor sisters here” – the thought of that moment never fails to make me smile

The second memory is of the second time I met him. He was having a chat and asked if I was at school, I said “just finished school” he replied with “nice” and put his fist out and I bumped it with mine. Nothing better than a white middle-class man in his 30’s being all “street”. Love him!

Russell Howard

Who: No need to explain. Everyone in the UK knows who Russell Howard is. He became a household name when he became a regular on “Mock the Week” and he also has his own programme on BBC3 called “Russell Howard’s Good News” where he basically rips the shit out of the news from that week. He has quite a “sick” sense of humour and most of his comedy is observational. He was the first comedian to make me cry with laughter. He’s young, he’s very smart and he is so damn funny.

Gig: I went with my Mum to see Russell Howard in March 2011. It – was – EPIC! My Mum hates being in crowds of people (because she has an anxiety disorder) but she actually managed to relax and enjoy herself in an arena filled with thousands of people because he was just that good! It was incredible. Any heckles (that could be heard properly) were dealt with masterfully by Mr Howard. A brilliant first gig of the year and just what I needed to lift my spirits.

Memory: First 5 minutes of the gig, I make a MASSIVE MISTAKE and take a drink of Diet Irn Bru. I don’t remember the joke he made but I can tell you that it was EPIC. And how can I tell you this? Well, I choked on that sip of juice to the extent that I almost threw up on the guy in front of me. It wasn’t pretty but that’s the defining moment of the gig for me – he’s so good I nearly threw up.

Jason Manford

Who: Funny guy from Manchester who makes jokes about shit that happened to him and shit that happened in general. Was a team captain on “8 Out of 10 Cats”, hosted “The OneShow” until he got fired for something that happened off-air, presented “ShowMe the Funny”. Don’t really know what else to say about him, to be honest.

Gig: I went to see Jason Manford in April 2011 with my mate Matthew. This gig was Matthew’s first comedy gig. He drove us to and from the gig and we had an AMAZING time. First off, we sat one row in front of where we were meant to be because some other folk sat in our seats so better view HELL YEAH. Then the show started and out comes Jason Manford with crutches – the dipshit broke his foot. He does his material, interval, more material then it’s over. A few heckled here and there but nothing he couldn’t handle.

Memory: This isn’t really of the gig but of the girl who was selling the ice cream during the interval. She was STUNNING!!!!! And as soon as Matthew found out I thought so, he made me go and talk to her because magically “he wanted ice cream”. So I went up to buy the ice cream, the (gorgeous) girl said the price and I said “do you have change for a twenty?” she went, “I do just now” and smiled at me. I got my change and his ice cream and made my way back to my seat. Matthew kept telling me that “that was flirting”. That girl was obviously straight but didn’t stop me trying.

Tim Minchin

Who: Not enough people have heard of this man. He is an absolute legend! English-born, Australian comedian who deals with Religion, alternative medicine, raising children and other rather dark topics in his material. His songs are beautifully written, his poems are incredible and his stand-up bits in between are brilliantly funny. I am a total lesbian but I so would! I have been known to state the following on a regular basis: “Tim Minchin’s voice is sex”. He is GORGEOUS!!!!! I heard him say in an interview-type-thing, “I hate my voice, I hate my fat chin...I can't play piano, I'm not a good Pianist, I will never be a good Pianist" I responded to this by yelling “FUCK OFF TIMBO YOUR VOICE IS SEX!!!!!” at my laptop. If ever there was a man on this planet who could “turn me” it would be Tim Minchin, or, as I have also referred to him, “Mr sex-on-legs-could-probably-turn-me-his-voice-is-sex Minchin”. His insecurity makes me appreciate his genius even more. He doesn’t get enough credit and I have dedicated part of my life to recruiting new fans for him (I’m up to 5 in two years. And however many those 5 recruit and so on, because without me they wouldn’t be recruited), that is how good he is. His song “The Fence” is my ringtone and I always smile anytime someone phones me and it starts to play.

Gig: I went to his gig in Aberdeen in April 2011 with Jess and we had the best time we’ve ever had together. After she saw him Jess said (out loud) “Oh my God he’s real” (or words to that effect). We were star-struck and during “Rock ‘n’ Roll Nerd” when the line “he doesn’t look good with his t-shirt off” was sung we looked at each other and, I know I thought, “bullshit”. At the gig you got a wristband with everything you bought. I ended up having 3 wristbands, I gave on to Jo-anna and one to Poppy, the one I have left I wear every single day.

Memory: My main memory regarding Timbo is looking at my Religious, Moral and Philosophical Studies prelim result, seeing the fact that I got an ‘A’ and thinking “Thank you Timbo”. This man, got me an ‘A’, my first ever ‘A’ in an exam. Then after the actual exam (when I got a ‘C’) they appealed me up to an ‘A’ because of that prelim.

Ellen Degeneres

Who: Okay, unless you’ve been living under a rock you know who Ellen is. She’s like Cher and Madonna, you only need to say her first name and everyone knows who you’re on about. American comedienne who changed the western world when she came out as gay – and no, that’s not an exaggeration. I love her! I first saw her name in the final credits of the movie “Finding Nemo” and then discovered her as a person (not a fish) during my initial struggle with my sexuality. She made things a lot easier for me just by existing and making me laugh.

Gigs: Not seen her live, probably never will but ah well.

Memory: During the times when I was severely bullied for being “the lesbian” at school, I was watching clips of Ellen’s stand-up on YouTube, just to cheer me up, and my Mum who had recently found out about the bullying saw the screen and said, “if you want people to stop thinking you’re gay you’d better not let them find out you like her”. Thanks Mum.

Billy Connolly

Who: You had better be fucking kidding me?!

Gig: I haven’t seen him live. I want to see him live, more than anything in the entire world. He’s the King.

Memory: The first time I saw one of his gigs on TV my brain exploded. The whole thing was so new to me that I could hardly take it in.

Comedians I want to see live before I/they die:

                Billy Connolly

                Lee Evans

                Tim Minchin

                Jimmy Carr

                Russell Howard

                Jason Manford

                Eddie Izzard

                Michael McIntyre

                Alan Carr

    Dara O’Briain

    Russell Kane

    Jack Whitehall

    Daniel Sloss

    Sarah Millican

    Robin Williams

                

Newsflash: Tim Minchin's Transphobic and Bears Stop Shitting in the Woods!

I am a huge fan of stand-up comedy. I’ve been to 9 live gigs since 2008, my bedroom walls are covered in posters, my bookshelf is full of comedy DVDs and anyone who knows me will tell you that I am obsessed with stand-up and I bring it into all conversations. I quote comedians when making an argument and last year I even used a couple of comedians as part of my revision for an exam (I got an ‘A’ so it works!). One of my favourite comedians is Tim Minchin – not heard of him? Google is sexy ass right now! He’s an articulate, intelligent, direct and hilarious comedian who tackles subjects like religion and prejudice with his material. So, to people who know me it is clear why I love Tim Minchin and his work – I love comedy + I dislike ignorance and stupidity = Tim Minchin.

So, imagine my surprise when I logon to Twitter, for the first time in a few weeks, and my timeline is full of Tim Minchin defending himself against accusations of Transphobia. Tell you something, I was more than surprised. I was confused, annoyed, astonished but above all else I was amused. The mere idea of him being accused of such a thing was so incomprehensible to me that I had to go and find out what was going on. The further into it I looked, the more entertained I became.

This whole thing started with one mild-mannered person tweeting Tim Minchin about his use of the word “tranny” on TV:

“Hey, @timminchin - I love your work, but please lay off the "tr*nny" jokes. Some of us find that really offensive.”

His reply to this:

@auntysarah Ugh, serious? Are you talking about 8/10 cats? I can't remember what I said, but don't remember it being really offensive.

To me, that comment is fair enough. Programmes are filmed at least a few days before they are broadcast so it’s perfectly reasonable that he would not remember everything he had said. He’s also very busy: he’s still on tour and “Matilda the Musical” – which he wrote the music and lyrics for – opened yesterday (25/10/2011) so busy, busy man, try remembering everything you said on a TV show with all that going on. So far, nothing nasty just two reasonable comments from two reasonable people, then things start to get a bit darker.

TransMediaWatch then joined in the conversation with a comment that was both understandable but slightly bitchy at the same time:

“@timminchin @auntysarah with all due respect Tim, it's usually the people who are offended who get to decide what's rude.”

I totally agree but when discussing these things with a person who is in the public eye it is a good idea to research their work before commenting (a hashtag used by Tim Minchin later on just proves this point).

Tim Minchin replies:

“@TransMediaWatch @auntysarah I had no idea that "tranny" was derogatory. Good to know.”

He admits he didn’t know something, you’ve educated him. Yay! It’s all over...oh wait, apparently not. TransMediaWatch:

“@timminchin @auntysarah gotta ask you though Tim, would you *really* ever introduce someone in polite company as a "tranny"?”

Like the figurative dog with it’s bone. He’s owned up to his previous ignorance and you keep digging (obviously having still done no research into his material)?! Actually, what idiot with a Trans. friend would introduce them as a “tranny”? If the friend is a Trans-man then you introduce them the same as you do any other man, you just go “and this is my mate Dave” not “this is my mate Dave-the tranny” everyone (with Trans friends/relatives/what ever) knows that! It’s common sense! 

Tim Minchin responds:

“@TransMediaWatch @auntysarahI have drag friends who use it, so only know the word as equivalent to "queen", unrelated to transgender.”

So, now we’ve had a decent explanation for his mistake. It is now painfully clear that he did not intend to offend anyone. Is it over now? Like fuck it is! The person in control of TransMediaWatch at this time was feeling bitchy or had a bad day or something because he/she/they didn’t show any sign of acknowledging the fact that Tim Minchin wasn’t aiming to offend anyone and he didn’t like the fact that they were offended.

“@timminchin @auntysarah we have black friends who are happy using "nigger". What's your point Tim?”

Dude! (Shall point out I call everyone ‘dude’. Whether they be male, female, intersexed or my neutered cat everyone is ‘dude’ in my eyes at some point). As I was saying – Dude! Calm the fuck down! No need to start a fight. We’re all friends here! We’ve established the fact that he did not know that “tranny” was offensive so leave it now and embrace the amazing ally we have in this eloquent specimen of Natural Selection.

So, then some other dick pipes up saying that this has made him question whether to watch any future shows etc. that Tim Minchin does. Hey dumbass! You’ve obviously never watched his stuff before because if you had then you’d know where he stands when it comes to LGBT discrimination and you’d know he’s disgusted by it! Either that or you just don’t understand these things.

Anyway up until this point I had been amused by the idea of Tim Minchin (also known as ‘the man who restored my faith in heterosexuals’) being Transphobic, but TransMediaWatch then said something which did actually slightly annoy me:

“@timminchin why the reluctance for a quick: "Sorry, I had no idea that term would offend people, but now I do"”

Dude! (again, I use it as a unisex term, if the Queen turned up at my door and said something disturbing I’d say “Dude...”) Really? You’re going to needlessly continue this? Okay. This comment did annoy me purely on the basis of “you could be getting on with some real ‘shoot the Transphobe down’ work, but instead you’re wasting your time having a go at a guy who has already said he didn’t know it was offensive. Not only that, but because you keep going on about it some of his fans are going “oh, I don’t like him now because he’s going to keep using that word” – fucking idiots! Although, part of me does think ‘if you’re not smart enough to understand him then piss off’. 

Tim Minchin’s response:

“@TransMediaWatch @auntysarahYour appeal to mr to apologise is childish and simplistic. I'm trying to learn. You ever seen my shows?”

Notice the use of the words “trying to learn” that should explain everything now can we leave it alone? No! Keep digging! Why the fuck not! (By the way, I’m back to laughing at it by this point and if you want to read the tweets then go onto Twitter and see for yourself the rest of the stuff). 

This goes on for a while and by the end of it TransMediaWatch has a bunch of new followers and is looking up Tim Minchin material and Tim Minchin is making jokes about it:

“I used the word "tranny" on 8/10 cats. Found out today that to the trans folk it's an abusive term. I didn't know that. #onlyaginger” – his fans will get it, non-fans click here.

“2 clarifiers b4 bed. 1. A word is as offensive as those who have been victimised by it tell us it is. That's why I won't use the term again.
2. Left to my own devices I may well have said "sorry" for hurt caused or damage done. But I fucking hate being told what to do by gays.” – TransMediaWatch retweeted this and sent him a “J”.

This whole thing made me laugh in a weird way. I was amused by the sight of a group (who tackle ignorance) starting an argument with someone they know nothing about – oh the irony. I was entertained by the concept of Tim Minchin being discriminatory towards the LGBT community due to his songs/poems defending us (e.g. Mitsubishi Colt, 5 Poofs and 2 Pianos, Cont. and many more) and stories of his including one – which is a personal favourite – involving his daughter putting a coin in her mouth and then he tells her what her mouth is for and what it will be for (if you have no idea what I’m on about then click here if you know exactly what I’m on about *high5*).

The other thing that got me about this whole thing is the fact that I love TransMediaWatch and I think the work they do it great but I also like seeing them being wrong about someone because it just shows you that while education is still heavily required, people aren’t always as bad as the media would have you think. Yes, a lot of people are prejudiced and ignorant but other people are our friends, family, loved ones, idols, mild-obsessions...awkward...who just don’t know when something is offensive to some people because they don’t know anyone who is offended by it. In a kind of round-a-bout way I like that this happened because it just shows you that people can surprise you and first impressions are nothing to go by.

Even though I wasn’t the one being proved wrong about someone, this time, it did remind me to ignore first impressions of people, in general because it could turn out that “the bitch” you run away from after meeting her for the first time is actually the best friend you would ever have.